Well, I guess the upshot of cheating (& eating foods that my body is sensitive to right now) is feeling like doggie doo.    :-P   I’ve got those black circles back under my eyes again, I’ve got a sore, scratchy throat, swollen glands under my throat, & I just want to sleep for a day or two.   I woke up like this on Monday & still haven’t been able to shake it.  I guess I need to spend a day just resting–after I go have my bowl of home-made chicken soup with cayenne pepper that’s waiting for me right now!  Yum!!

I’m gonna be such a good girl & stick to what I know is best for me right now!  So I guess I gotta make sure that my dinner’s ready & I’m not hungry when I make goodies for my son & have some kind of good-for-me-yet-delicious-snack available to nosh on after. <  Curse you banana bread!  Why do I have to make you so yummy!! >

OK, there.  I admit it!  I’ve been sooooo good & haven’t even been tempted all that much, but today was the true test & I failed.  < sigh >

This morning my son begged me,  ”Make me some of your delicious banana bread Mom!  Puh-leeeze!?”  So of course I did.  But I had a hard time not scarfing down spoonfuls of dough & licking every molecule off the spoon & bowl (as is my wont).  Oh, it smelled soooo good!  < eye-roll >  So I licked a teeny-tiny smidge off the end of the psoon & said, OK.  Now I’m done.

But it was not to be so.

I was cooking dinner, I was starving.  Definitely NOT a good state of being!  I had been smalling the fantastic aromas of roasting chicken & yummy banana bread for an hour & a half.  And while I waited for the rotisserie chicken to finish cooking, it was time for the bread to come out.  I realy tried but I just couldn’t help myself from picking at the fragrant loaf of warm spicy bread sitting right under my nose!  I must have eaten 6-8 mouthfuls all together . . .

Now I know having a few mouthfuls of banana bread isn’t the end of the word (& it’s certainly not going to make me fat–if that’s what concerns me) but it’s certainly not good for my health right now.   A major reason I’m feeling more energetic, & not having the bouts of extreme exhaustian to where I almost black out, is the diet I’ve been on (along with the detoxifying supplements).

I’ve been so careful to stay away from any refined sugars, all grains (except the occasional dab of brown rice), & stick to my regimen of 3 serving of healthy animal protein per day (one at each meal), LOTS of fresh veggies, & fruits in moderation & eaten with a few nuts.  This has helped me feel better & better!  So I hope falling onto the baker’s wagon won’t have any side effects tomorrow!

Boy, if I wasn’t already a believer in the benefits of acupuncture I would be now! I’d been having my regular weekly sessions every Thursday or Friday like clockwork, but the last 3 weeks my schedule has been all over the place.

The wonderful acupuncturist I’d been seeing, Jonathon Dodd, has moved back to the Seattle area, so it’s been a time of transition.   I had my 1st session with Kimberly Fried last Thursday after  an abbreviated session with Jonathon the Tuesday before, will have no session this week, & will have to wait until Tuesday next week to return to a regular schedule.  My 1st impression of Kimberly has been extremely positive & I’m sure we’ll establish an excellent relationship, but it does take time for any doctor to gain familiarity with a new patient & their body’s individual quirks.  Oh well, it took time for Jonathon to figure out his approach to my health issues so I’ll just have to be a patient patient until I have enough sessions with Kimberly that she’s got me sussed as well!  ;-D

Bottom line is I’ve realized how important the acupuncture component is to my health strategy.  I’ve been much busier now that I’m teaching classes again & have felt more tired, but I’ve begun to have trouble falling asleep again!  (And I’ve gone back to the ‘waking up at 3:00 am’ routine too.)  I’ve really  noticed that my chronic insomnia becomes much less of an issue when I’m getting those regular acupuncture sessions.  (And the insomnia gets worse the more over-tired I become.)

I’m still following the cleansing diet prescribed by Dr. Hedayat & taking my supplements, doing my PT exercises, & getting my chiropractic adjustments, so it’ll be interesting to see how getting back into the groove with the acupuncture will effect things.

And on top of it all I’m trying very hard to rest, choose where & when I’ll spend my energy, & to let the stress flow right off my back. It’s a struggle to try to balance everything but I hope I’m getting better at it!!  It’s so hard not to fall back into the old ‘Get-’Er-Done’ mentality I’ve used to power through my life, no matter how exhausted I am.  But that’ mentality is what got me here so I’m learning to ask myself if a task is really so urgent that it’s worth setting back my health recovery.  Now I can take a rest before I tackle it, or just cross it off my list–the world isn’t going to end!

Ohmigosh!  I sat down to write today thinking it was only 4 or 5 days since my last yak-yak and I did a double-take–where has the time gone this week!?!

I didn’t think I did that much this last week  <eye-roll>  but I do remember that I:

—–Finished my lesson plans, gathered materials, & began teaching my fall classes ( Math & Science) at our charter school, Greater San Diego Academy (GSDA).

—–Did our homeschool lessons each day (yes, I teach at home too!).    ;-D

—–Setup & coordinated the field trip & drove a carpool to Pasedena on Wednesday for an Aerospace & Science out-reach day for the kids  put on by all the industry heavyweights (NASA, JPL, Boeing, Northrup-Grumman, Wyle, NTSB, etc) to show how fun & rewarding a career in science, technology & engineering can be. They also had loads of  fantastic stuff for the educators. (ME: Puh-leeze can I have one of those cool NASA astronaut pens to go with all the great teaching materials you just gave me?!)   What a fantastic time but thoroughly exhausting!.

—–Coordinated our LEGO Engineering class, materials, & lessons at GSDA.

—–Had bad sciatica at the beginning of the week & drove to Renew on Monday & Tuesday for help, along with my regular Thursday session.

—–Put in solid exercise sessions each day for fitness, & to help my sciatica & lower back pain.

—–Toted my son to his sports group, archery lesson, did housework, ran errands,  blah, blah, blah, just like every other busy parent.

And now I’m in the middle of cooking dinner & arranging a last-minute trip to see my elderly grandmother in Seattle next month!  I guess I’d better sign off so I can finish making all the phone calls to various relatives before it gets too late but before that . . .

I want to report that I was able to do all these things this week & still feel pretty good because I’ve really been following my directives from all my health providers! I’m packing nutritious snacks & lunches (with the accompanying supplements to take at the appropriate times of the day).  I’m having to fight my family’s & my own tendencies to be up late but I’m adamant about my bedtime, & so I have been getting enough sleep.  I’m cooking meals, even when I don’t have the the time!  I’m really trying to listen to my body & when I begin to feel tired I’m having a snack & a rest.  And I’m taking time each day to just chill, whether it’s visiting with a friend while our kids are doing archery or taking half an hour to sit & read or practice my new guitar.

Most importantly, I’m sticking to the priorities I’ve set as to how I will spend my energy each day & I’m refusing to let guilt from myself or from other sources push me to try do everything at once. (I refuse to stay up past midnight like I did in the past)!   I’m not Suzy Homemaker or Super-Woman! There, I said it!

I’ve been trying to make a conscious decision each week as to which days I’ll work on the house & what are my priorities each day.  So this week I deliberately decided to let all but the essential housekeeping wait until Saturday, so it’s been kinda messy around here this week.  But it’s not disgusting or life-threatening, & where I used to beat myself up I now remind myself that my priorities are my health, my family, my educational responsibilities, & having some time to see friends & relax.  Having a picture-perfect home would be nice but it’s not at the top of my priority list.  (Honey, when can we afford some maintenance help?  ha ha)

So I’ll just keep on track with my health strategy & begin to enjoy my life & my family again & if I get busted by the White Glove Squad, they’ll have to leave my demerits on the front door knob ’cause I’ll either be workin’ out,  outta here, or sittin’ on the back porch watching the hummingbirds while I’m eating a healthy lunch & sippin’ a tall (decaf) iced tea!

P.S. Oh, I forgot to add that I verified that my home scale is the same as the medical scale at Renew, so I had a very pleasant surprise last week when I weighed myself & realized that from the beginning of my challenge I’ve shed 15 pounds!  (I knew my clothes fit differently . . . )

I’ve had energy all week!! AMAZING!! I feel pretty darn good & even have been waking in the morning feeling happy & reasonably well-rested!  (I’m still having some trouble falling asleep, but not more than a couple of hours.)  This is just fantastic!! I do still get tired if I try to do too much without taking a real break, but if I’m conscious of how my body is feeling & respect that I can have a 20 or 30 minute break, & then continue with my day with no huge drop in energy.

Part of this new feeling of health, I believe, is I’m being very conscious of eating my prescribed meals & healthy snacks on more of a schedule–I think I was right in that I really can’t wait to eat until I get hungry because my energy level falls too low & I never really regain it that day.  So the ‘scheduling’ thing seems to be working pretty well.  (And I’ve lost almost 10 pounds!)

Dr. Hedayat ordered the blood panels for my Endobiogenic testing & I have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks so it will be interesting to see what the results show.  I’m very aware that my newly-found feelings of mental clarity, less muscle & joint pain, & greater energy are just beginning, & so are still quite fragile.  I will  have to be quite vigilant of my daily structure & actions–to continue to protect myself from myself –& not delude myself that I’m instantly better & can now go back to my old, destructive habits.  I’m in this for the long haul!!  I want to treat the root causes of my health issues, not merely trim a few symptoms here & there, so I’m very interested in what the test results will show & what my next steps are.

But I think the greatest impact my higher, more consistent energy level is having is on my physical therapy/pain relief conditioning. Now (2-3 days per week) I’m able to ride the stationary bike for 45 minutes, throw in some intense interval training (e.g., 30 seconds as fast as I can possibly go, then 45 seconds slow for rest, 30 sec on/45 sec off for 3  or 4 sets) & still not be dizzy when I finish!! (But of course I’m sweating like crazy!)  I’m finding it easier to do the core-strength building exercises & have begun to do some gentle yoga moves along with my prescribed exercises.  And I’m using some of those specific exercises as pain-relievers when my back hurts so I’m still not popping pain pills!! Sure I still hurt–sometimes quite a lot– but I’m working hard to retrain myself to use the exercises as my first-line of defense.  And you know what?  They’re helping me to have less pain in the long run!  < DUH!! >  I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to find exercises that really work!  (Or to learn to use them as ‘medicine’ instead of just part of physical conditioning.)

My biggest challenge this week has been really painful sciatica.  Dr. Buchel has been giving me really great chiropractic adjustments & Dr. Vanessa (& Dr. Kevin) have been doing lots of mobilization & mucle therapies on my hips & low back–including my favorite, the cold laser!–so between the adjustments & the soft-tissue thaerapies I’ve felt tremendous relief!  (I’m actually sitting here typing & only have a minimal amount of pain instead of it being torture, or not doing computer work at all!)   Dr. Vanessa even had me out this week waling around the block with these crazy walking poles (they’re sort of like cross-country ski poles) that totally kicked my butt, or should I say abs & core body!!  Then I got to ‘play’ (read: sweat!) on the Wii Fit doing soccer, cross-country skiing, hula-hooping (go ahead & laugh–I dare you to do it too!), & yoga.  Normally I would have taken a week to recover but I actually felt more of a normal tiredness & just slept for about 12-1/2 hours that night & felt a good energy in the morning!

I really feel like the co-ordination of the different therapies, diet, & medicines are beginning to show their synergistic effect. And Jonathon has been giving me awesome acupuncture sessions that not only help my sciatica, but even more importantly, have the effect of bringing everything together. No, that’s not a very good description.  More like, confirming the placement of and & ‘comforting’ the newly re-aligned parts of my body–physically, functionally, & mentally.  I feel like the acupuncture helps in re-integrating the disparate parts of my being that have been long divorced,  & in the reconnection of  normal function & communication. Or I can just say it makes me feel terriffic & leave it at that.   ;-D

Just a quick note before I head off to bed:

I’m feeling so much better this week!  My energy level has picked up a little each day, & Friday & today were great!  I’m riding my bike for 45 minutes now (still fairly low resistance) but I’ve started interval training & I’m still having just minimal dizziness after the aerobic work!!  Yay!!  The dizziness has been such a huge obstacle to working out that I hope it’s gone for good.

I’m also being very good & sticking to my cleansing diet, even when I get cravings for pastries, pasta, etc.  Today was my 51st birthday & I didn’t even have cake (although my friends did)–I had a lovely bowl of fresh fruits with my favorite gourmet vanilla yogurt on top, with a sprinkle of cinnamon & a handful of toasted pecans.  YUM!  I truly didn’t miss the cake (well, maybe only when I was smelling it while I cut & served it!).  I know how good I feel now, when I’m careful about what I eat, so I want to keep feeling good.  Cake & other yummy things will come back into my diet later, but not at this stage.

And, today several friends noticed I no longer have those huge black circles under my eyes I’ve had for years! I still have some darkness in the corners but they’ve faded to less than half what they were & the rest of the circles are completely gone.  Folks also noticed that my skin color was very healthy looking, not strained & sickly-looking, & that I had  much more energy!  I guess I’m not the only one noticing the positive changes I’m going through now, & it feels good.

I’ll write more tomorrow but now it’s time for me to stick to my bedtime schedule (it’s becoming very important for me to go to bed when I feel tired & not push myself to stay awake).

Now I think I’ll just go to sleep & dream of my next 50 years;  feeling good, regaining my health, & of all the adventures that await me!!

Yikes!  All I have to report is: sleeping! Since my last post I’ve managed to sleep through most of each day, especially since I’ve sent my hubby & son on a week-long vacation in the Eastern Sierras.   AAAH, the bliss of a quiet house!  I can sleep as much as I need!  (I guess I must need quite a lot right now as I’m still recovering from all the major stress & over-work last week.)

Today I actually got up before 10:00 (not after 1pm!) & was ready to tackle some over-due paperwork so I worked at the computer this morning & only took a 2 hour nap (not 4+!).  Now it’s time to hit the sack as I do have a long day tomorrow.  Good thing I’ve almost recharged my batteries, I’m going to need it!

Later, . . .  my pillow . . . is  . . . calling . . . < * snore * >

I was so excited to be making progress on Friday (previous post) & then (duh-duh-DUH) I really overworked Saturday, Sunday, & Tuesday—what a mistake! My hubby,  mom,  MIL (mother-in-law) & Uncle-in-Law all came up & we worked to finish off the upstairs ‘renovaton,’ cleanup, & do major reorganization of the 4 upstairs bedrooms.  (Talk about an exhausting game of musical furniture!   Whew! )  It does feel good to finish this seemingly never-ending project but man, I’m still whipped!  Even though I tried so hard to pace myself I had folks calling me all day long from all over the house for help, direction, decisions, blah, blah, blah.

Bottom line:  Now I’ve gone back to the extreme exhaustion, dizziness spells, & muscle fatigue.  I’ve barely had enough energy to follow my food plan (it would be soooo much easier to make an organic PB&J instead of cooking &/or slicing & dicing) but I’m being good, even though it’s very tempting to go back to my old stop-gaps.    And I know that I have to fight myself to take it easy when I’m  recovering! How could I have thought I was being careful?  What was I thinking?? (My pattern has been:  I begin to feel good then–bam!  I don’t have the patience to wait for the real recovery to be complete so I plunge forward, then end up back at square one, or worse.)   This time though, I simply felt guilty that everyone else was working so hard & I thought I looked like a slug whenever I put my feet up for a five or ten minutes.  I really try hard not to let what others think of me drive my behavior, but after a while the big sighs & eye-rolling made it hard to be firm with myself & rest.

Anyway, I am feeling better after lots of rest yesterday & today & I’m looking forward to my appointments tomorrow at Renew Health.  I’m seeing everyone tomorrow, except Tina Mears, so it’ll be a long morning but I know I’ll feel better when I’m done–I always do!

I did feel much better on Monday after Dr. Vanessa worked me over (she even used this new cold laser I’d never seen before to help breakup old adhesions in my muscles & reduce pain).  I did have to really take it easy during my workout though as I felt, literally, like I was an empty shell.  (I did finally get to meet Crystal though!  I knew she’s at Renew also but we’d never connected until then.  She’s so nice & she’s really working hard–just watching her workout kicked my be-hind!)  ;-D

After my body work with Dr. Vanessa & workout with Adam in PT, Dr. Buchel gave another awsome chiropractic adjustment, then I was back to see Dr. Vanessa to get more kiniseo-tape to help put me back together.  I did feel much better after I left on Monday, & I did rest when I got home, but I didn’t rest enough & then it was back to work on Tuesday to finish the house.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Hmmm, let’s see, what have I learned?  Anything???  (Darn, I sure hope so!)

First:  Don’t let others’ expectations, or my presumption of their expectations, goad me into behaviors that I know are unhealthy for me at the time.  I am strong enough in my resolve to guard my health & if some folks don’t understand my situation then I’ll just have to live with their diminished opinion of me.

Second:  I have to watch myself more closely than I thought as I continue to recover my health. I’ve been advised in the past to look at what I think I should be able to do at each stage of physical recovery (after knee surgery, etc) & cut that expectation in half.  Then, cut it in half again.  I guess I’ll have to go back to this mindset when I’m tempted to ‘break out’ on the days when I’m feeling really good.  Even though boring, I know that slow & steady is my best plan for now.  Rats!  ;-D

A short post tonight (amazing, I know!).    I’m pooped, but it’s still good.   Usually on Fridays I’ve been so exhausted after teaching Science class in the morning (at my house) that when the students finally go home about 12:45 all I can think about is lunch & a very long nap.  And then I’ll take a 2-4 hour nap!  (After 12-14 hours of sleep!)

Last Friday was better & I only napped about 1-1/2 hours, but today I’m excited that I only took a catnap while watching my son & his friends–for about 45 minutes! I could hear them playing Zoo Tycoon: The Complete Collection on the computer & it was fun listening to my little 8yr old zookeeper explain how important it is to keep the animals happy & how you go about that monumental task.   I really enjoyed putting my feet up in the recliner & not having to move for a while, as well as feeling well enough that I didn’t immediately pass out & miss the fun.

I was doubly surprised since I took the kids to the pool after classes this morning & we played there for about 2 hours, then came home.  So even though I’m thoroughly whipped, I don’t feel that fatigue that would just suck me down until I’d literally fall on the couch or bed & sleep for hours.

My life is coming back to me now, slowly but surely.  (Yes!  I said surely!!  I need all the pep talks I can get–even from myself!)   ;-D

Rats!  Just when I think I’m finally getting in the groove, I totally flub up.    /:-P

I worked on science & reading with my son (no rest for the homeschooled–am I the meanest mom in the world, or what?), worked in the garden, cleaned, cooked, paid bills, changed from sitting work to walking around work when I began to get stiff, took my son to the library to do his reporting for the Summer Reading Program, & worked on my upcoming Math & Science curriculums.  I ate regular meals, each including animal protein, had my nuts before eating fruit snacks,  made cherry stem tea (yuck, but another part of my body’s cleansing program), & took all my vitamins/supplements at the appropriate times.  I feel good about what I have accomplished today, I really do.   So I should feel good about my juggling skills, right??   Oh yay, yay me, oh yeah, yay me, oh . . . uh . . . oh man!!!

What about my exercises?!! Gah!!  Will I ever get it all together?   OK, I’ll admit (partial) defeat for today (it’s almost 11:30 pm) so I guess it’s time to whip out Scarlett O’Hara:  ”Oh fiddle-dee-dee.  I’ll worry about that tomorrow.”