Well folks, it’s been an incredible, life-changing six months!  I just returned from Isis Physical Therapy at Renew and boy, I really had it brought home to me just how much my pain level, energy level, flexibility, and overall health have improved! Dr. Kevin gave me a great PT session this morning  & continued to loosen the muscles in my pelvis, hips, & glutes.  Then Adam totally kicked my be-hind one more time–for 1-1/2 hours!!!

What a difference from the first time I was there & I couldn’t gently pedal the stationary bike for one minute without stopping to put my head down to prevent myself from blacking out! I’m sure glad Dr. Hedayat was able to discover the root causes of  my ‘mystery fatigue’ & help me with this & my fibromyalgia.

I didn’t realize at first how much these health issues were preventing me from exercising–which is a crucial part of pain management for me (with fibromyalgia, three broken lumbar vertebrae, & scoliosis).  It also felt great to see my slimmer, more athletic shape in all those mirrors today!  Feeling great is the best reward but it’s nice to have the little ego-boos along the way too!

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Actually, I think my post from Thanksgiving says it all: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/for-this-i-am-truly-thankful/

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I had no idea when I began this journey how my life would be forever changed by this experience. As I’ve said before, I hope that you take away some tidbits that are helpful to you in your life–hopefully from all of us who were part of this Challenge.

I do hope you’ve found my journey especially inspirational, so I’ll leave you with some early posts when I was struggling with motivation & trying to establish new habits.

May you and your loved ones have a peaceful, prosperous, happy and healthy New Year!

~~Dawn

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My poor health had a major impact on my ability to interact with my family: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/reality-bites/

Beginning my coordinated health plan at Renew: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/yay-progress-d/

My 51st Birthday, and my test results which have profoundly effected my outlook: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/life-the-universe-everything-or-i-want-another-50-years-please/

Setting tough priorities for health & time management: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/workin-it/ http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/yikes-where-does-the-time-go/

Learning to adjust my thinking for healthy living & stress management: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/finding-the-one-who-is-not-busy/

We contestants have been told there was a glitch in the voting Friday through today, so they have taken the polls down until Monday the 14th, when the official voting will begin. (Also, our ‘After’ videos should be up on the site then, as well as new TV advertisements on CH 10.)

That means that all our votes will be re-set to ZERO and you will only be able to vote once, so please come back and vote again on Monday!  (And tell your friends too!)   ;-D

I really appreciate all the support from everyone–all the emails and phone calls–it’s  just been amazing!   No matter what you can bet I’ll be continuing on this path and a year from now I’ll be even healthier and fitter than today.  Now that I’ve seen what ‘healthy’ feels like there’s no going back!  So I guess I’ll just have to kiss conventional sweets and caffeine good bye, but now I honestly don’t really mind.  (Unless, of course, I’m starving and the chocolate cake is right where I can smell it!  Then I have to hold on to my goal of health so I won’t cheat and feel sickish later.)

EEEK!  I just saw a tree go down from my neighbor’s yard into mine, so I’m headed outside to see what damage, if any, has been done!

I guess I should stop congratulating myself for being so healthy while everyone around me is sick–now I’ve got it too.  Our son got sick on Thanksgiving evening with all the classic (swine?) flu symptoms: High fever (101+), muscle/joint pain, headache, & exhaustion followed the next day by lower temp, stuffy nose & coughing. He’s recovering & feeling better every day but now I have the headache, sore joints, & fatigue.  (Hubby just got sick from eating some irresistible foods he shouldn’t–he’s lactose intolerant.)  At first I was thinking my joint pain was my fibromyalgia flaring up so I’m hoping it’s part of my flu symptoms & so will fade quickly.

So today has basically been Rory working on schoolwork–his computer reading-writing-typing program, working on spelling, reading, & other quiet stuff.  I felt a little better this afternoon & made him some of my super-healthy banana bread packed with extra protein, lots of healthy fats & grains, & very low-sugar.  So he’s been happy scarfing that down with some fresh apples while I’ve been lying in the recliner by the fire, eating fresh persimmons & nuts with yummy tea, reading some good pulp fiction (Susan Issacs’ Magic Hour).

The house is, of course, pretty scary right now but I’m getting much better at not stressing out about things that are out of my control at the moment.  I choose to rest & get better quickly, then to clean, do laundry, etc.  In the past I would have worked until I dropped, become worse from over-working, & stressed out the whole time I was sick by beating myself up for not performing the way I thought I should.  Whew!  At least I’m over that self-imposed drama, & I feel much better for it!

I did have a *great* day yesterday at Renew; it almost goes without saying.  I always feel better after some laser work on my back & a great PT session & chiropractic adjustment!  But I could tell by the early afternoon that I was rapidly losing my energy & by the end of the day I was absolutely wiped out–not my usual state now (yay!).  So I guess I’ll just do the R & R thing until we’re back to normal again, which should be in a day or so.  (The house will always be there–I mean the faeries aren’t going to come & clean it for me!  Rats!!)

Well, I must report that I was wondering how my well-laid plans for Thanksgiving would actually turn out (see Thanksgiving Warmup, Nov for more).  Would I stick to my plan?  How easy would it be?  How would I really feel about changing my holiday favorites? It turns out everything was much easier than I’d dared hope for!

At the last minute a friend of my mother in law decided she would bring apple & pumpkin pies, so all I had to do was make one blackberry-cherry pie & a slightly-modified  pumpkin pie for own enjoyment, as well as fresh cranberry sauces; one with Splenda for half our group & one with low-glycemic agave nectar for me (and anyone else). I was pretty tired yesterday morning and as the day went on I really didn’t feel like doing much cooking, even though I really love to bake.  I guess we’d done too many field trips, driving, & what-not because we were all pooped.  So I decided that I’d rather enjoy a stress-free Thanksgiving than make pies (I can hear gasps from those of you who know me!) so I rested & then made the cranberry sauces. I highly recommend the agave nectar version (I hate artificial sweeteners):

3 cups fresh cranberries

1 cup blackberries (I used frozen)

1/2 cup hot water + 1 heaping tblsp orange juice concentrate (or fresh orange juice + some zest)

1/2 cup agave nectar

Pomona’s Pectin (follow the directions for using honey or other sweetners, it’s super-easy!)

I had a delicious dinner of turkey (my brother-in-law cooked a killer one on the BBQ) with gravy, a large tablespoon of stuffing, lots of my yummy cranberry sauce, unsweetened yams with butter (yum!), roasted brussel sprouts (just toss in olive oil, sea salt & pepper, then roast in oven at 425° until fork-tender–you’ll be a convert!), lots of iced water with lemon, & fresh-brewed decaf coffee with cinnamon.  I was very well satisfied as everything was very good & really hit the spot!

What really surprised me though, was my behavior. Usually I have at least seconds, then prowl the dessert trays all night–I mean, Thanksgiving comes only once a year so I see no reason to be stingy, since I don’t eat like that every day. But now, I didn’t feel that way at all!  I had one solid plate of dinner, then sat back and just enjoyed myself while everyone else ate 2nds & 3rds.  I did look at the dessert trays several times–pumpkin pie, apple pie, lemon bars, pumpkin cake with frosting, chocolate chip-oatmeal cookies, ice cream–all things I really like. But I honestly didn’t feel a pull to eat. I did taste a teensy bite of pumpkin pie, just to see what I was missing, but it honestly didn’t taste the way I expected it too–it was too sweet!  I guess my tastes really are changing, for my own good!

I did feel a little strange without dessert though, as if I was interrupting some cosmic flow.   I didn’t want any of the desserts on the table (except for the cokkies, just a little bit) but I still wanted something.  So I drank my cinnamon-laced decaf, & when I got home I had half a Cashew Cookie Lara Bar with a favorite decaf tea–aaaaaaah.  I think next time I go to a meal function I’ll make sure to have a sweet treat with me thaat I like, & then everything will be just right.

Now this is the kind of progress I can live with!!!    ;-D

As I get up this Thanksgiving morning I do as I’ve done every morning since I began ABC10′s Half-Year Resolution Challenge:  I stop to say a prayer of thanks for being part of this fantastic, life-changing event. Clichéd?  Yes, but I honestly mean it from the bottom of my heart.

This opportunity has meant everything to me, and to my family! Being chosen, and partnered with Renew Integrative Health Center, was exactly what I needed, and what I had been praying for. Renew’s  fabulous team of doctors and health practitioners  have given me the tools to:

Overcome my fibromyalgia. Dietary changes coupled with chiropractic, acupuncture, and the correct supplements and exercises, including yoga, have virtually eliminated my symptoms.  It certainly didn’t happen overnight, and I still have mild twinges in my elbows and wrists at times, but for all intents and purposes I consider myself cured.  Super-Yay for me!!

Regain a significant portion of my stamina and strength, and I’m still building! I’m not almost blacking out anymore when trying to exercise and I’m getting stronger and can do more each week.  Last week I went to Julian (in the mountains) and was able to easily walk up and down small hills with no problems!  And the elevation is 4000 feet!! My body is stronger and I carry myself with correct posture again because I have the energy to do so, and my spine is aligned properly.  My pain is 80% less!

Have energy again, with a clear and calm mind. After undergoing the Biology of Function, including in-depth blood tests, exam, & history, the dietary changes and correct supplements prescribed by Dr. Hedayat combined with the pain relief from Dr. Buchel‘s chiropractic adjustments and Dr. Jackson & Dr. Pansky’s physical therapy  have virtually eliminated my symptoms! Discovering my issues with thyroid and adrenal function, my over-worked liver from too many prescription and over-the-counter drugs, and my unhealthy coping mechanisms (sugar + caffeine) have been crucial.  Changing this dynamic has been the key! (In fact, my 8 year-old son just woke up and came in to see what I’m doing.  When he saw my blog he said, “I”m thankful for you getting better!  You’re a much better mommy now because you have more energy to play with me and do all sorts of things!”)  Not much I can add to that except that I’m doing it all caffeine-free and with healthy sweeteners!  Whooda thunk?   ;-D

Discover and address my current risk for cancer. Pre-cancerous levels of abnormal cells were also found as part of my blood tests for the Biology of Function. (I wrote about this and my previous removals of pre-cancerous lesions in my October post, Test Results, or I Want Another 50 Years.) The diet and supplements prescribed by Dr. Hedayat address this issue as well. Hopefully I’ll be here for many years to come to see my family grow and change.  (Maybe I’ll even see grandchildren!)

Have the bonus benefits of dropping excess weight and improving my skin and hair. I’ve dropped 24 pounds, most of it before I was able to exercise very much, and I get daily complements on how healthy my skin looks–no more black circles under my eyes either!  My hair continues to grow back and a significant portion of it is coming back brown, not grey as it did at first.  (Weird, but true!)  Less weight has also helped increase my energy level–I’m not toting it around all day (and my joints thank me too).

Help my family and friends make their own healthy changes. My husband and several of my friends have seen the progress I’ve made and have been inspired to improve their health, beginning with healthier diet and exercise.  My husband is now willing to change his eating habits in ways he wasn’t before (poor cholesterol tests continue to haunt him) so I feel our son will also benefit from a healthier dad!  Yay!  My goal for this next year is to improve my family’s dietary patterns and for us to spend more time outdoors together like we love, but have been unable to do with mom in such poor health.

So, for all these reasons I’m thankful to be chosen as part of ABC10′s Half-Year Resolution Challenge and for my Challenge partners, my team at Renew Integrative Health Center.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime gift I’ve received and I decided on Day One I wasn’t going to waste this God-given opportunity.  I feel I’ve pretty much achieved all my goals (except for the swimming the mile part-brrrrr!!) and  I’m well on my way to going on all-day hikes in the mountains.  I’ll have some maintenance and fine-tuning visits with my team at Renew to continue to stabilize my health and I will continue to cement my permanent life-style changes at home.

I’ve gained all I dreamed I possibly could and for all these things my family and I are truly grateful.  Thank you all for giving me my life back!

Everyone around me lately is talking turkey so I’ve been giving the holidays a lot of thought, food-wise I mean.   If you’re like me the holidays are part old traditions & part trying out new things that may become old traditions.  But one thing I don’t mess with too much is food. We all have them, our favorite holiday foods that just say comfort & joy!  (Mmmmm, my mom’s home-made crescent rolls for Thanksgiving or her home-made bearclaws on Christmas morning with scrambled eggs, apple-smoked bacon, & cocoa/tea.   My grandma’s sugared citrus-rind candies, & creamed onions!   My home-made cranberry-orange relish, yams with crushed pineapple, nutmeg, & orange,  and my pumpkin, pecan, apple, & berry pies.  Having cold pumpkin pie for breakfast, the day after Thanksgiving, & making all those turkey sandwiches with lots of cranberry sauce!  And don’t forget lots of organic egg-nog with brandy with all the yummy cakes, cookies, candies & goodies from Thanksgiving ’till New Years-again I say, “Mmmmmmm!”)

But as I said, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about food this year.  And as I’m typing all these yummy things, I do say yummmmm, but not really a whole-heartedly as I’ve done for all these years past.  Strange?  Yes!!  But true none the less.  I recognize that I want the same flavors, the same feelings of special indulgence, the just-a-little-guilt-’cause-it’s-only-once-a-year enjoyment of that sinfully rich dessert, or nibbling all afternoon on a deliciously rich cheese, nut, & fruit plate while sipping a delicious shirraz or merlot.  But I’ve learned a lot over the last 4-1/2 months & I can’t go back to what was, even if I actually wanted to.

Now, I’m totally addicted to feeling good!!  That’s what it really comes down to. Right now I’m able to have teeny amounts of refined sugars or grains (we’re talking teeny-nibble size here) & about 1/2 cup of brown rice or quinoa 2 or 3 times per week, but much more than that & my body isn’t yet sturdy enough to process these without several days of feeling tired, sluggish, mentally foggy, & basically just yucky.  I don’t feel sick, per se, just not ‘well’.  And I’m really enjoying feeling well!  So I’m thinking how I can literally have my cake (or reasonably facsimile thereof) & eat it too!

I’ve already been planning my Thanksgiving dinner, knowing that I’ll actually have very little input as to the food since we’re blending four different family traditions this year & all of them will have a super-abundance of foods that I will want to eat on one level, but will not eat in actuality because I’m just plain selfish & want to keep feeling good!  (I’ll be extremely tactful & polite but if it comes down to bruising anyone’s feelings by not eating their specialties, so be it.)  So I’m deciding which foods I can eat without worry & how I’ll create a new tradition & make my other necessary ‘comfort flavors’ in delicious but healthy ways.

Number One: I must make pies!! This isn’t just for my feasting enjoyment, I’m the designated pie-baker & I truly love making the pies for my extended family & friends.  So I will make pies!  But I’ll make a special pumpkin pie just for me (& then I’ll have my delicious post-Thanksgiving breakfast right at hand as well!).  I’ve already decided I can make my traditional filling with only one change–no refined sugar or molasses.  So I’m making an experimental pie this week (no, I am not just making this pie so I can have two to pig out on–don’t be rude!)   < snarf, mumble, gulp >  I’ll use Agave Nectar instead, maybe with some maple flavoring, & I figure if I use an extra egg not only will it up my protein/carb ratio but it should help the filling  set well since I’m changing the liquid/dry ingredients ratio.  (If you have experience with this sort of thing, please tell me!)  Then I’ll make a crumb crust instead of flaky pastry & use finely chopped pecans, ginger, some Agave Nectar, & coconut oil–hopefully it’ll hold together.  If not, it’s been suggested I use dates to make the crust more sticky, but I’m going to wait & see how my test pie comes out first.  I’ll keep you posted!

Number Two: There must be cranberry relish! To me, turkey isn’t turkey without it!  So I’ll make my usual fresh cranberry & orange relish but instead of sugar I’ll use concentrated orange juice, maybe add a few raspberries, & use Pomona’s Pectin to make it set up nicely.  If I feel I still need some sweetener I’ll use my alternate, a Xylitol/Stevia combo I like, since I never have liked artificial sweeteners & don’t use them.

Number Three: There must be yams, and stuffing! Instead of my yummy yams with pineapple, brown sugar, nutmeg, & orange, I’m opting for a nice yam baked in it’s own skin until it’s nice & caramelized.  I really like these anyway so I’m choosing this & hopefully I can have a small scoop of stuffing without tipping myself over into several days of yukkiness.

So, with my must-haves taken care of I’ll have plenty of turkey, some gravy, skip the mashed potatoes (yeah, I know but they’re not as high on my priority list), & have all the vegetables I want that aren’t covered in wheat/corn/msg laced sauces.  We all love roasted brussel sprouts so if nothing else I can pig out on those too.  (I know, but even those of us who hate ‘em like brussel sprouts tossed in olive oil, salt, & pepper, & roasted until crispy outside & tender inside.  They taste nutty & sweet!)  I’ll  have lots of my delicious teas that I’ll bring & share with whoever might want some & I’ll forgo the alcohol, or have decaf if it’s made.  I can nibble on fresh veggies, nuts (not too many), & cheese, & have a very nice meal that will actually leave me completely satisfied & not feeling deprived.  (OK, maybe just a little when I smell all the sugary pies I’ll be making, but only a little.  That’s when the cherry pie Larabars come in handy!)

And I must report that today I had a test-run when I went to a Ladies’ Tea fundraiser for the Breast Cancer 3-Day.  I was somewhat tempted by all the luscious-smelling goodies but ate only smoked sausage, salad, tea, & half a cherry-pie Larabar.  Yay for me!  Just having something sweet that’s good for me is really a help.  Larabar makes some chocolate varieties that are awesome too! Yum!!  The sugary goodies do tempt but not really that strongly since my reason for holding back is wanting continued & increasing good health.  More & more I look at these foods with diminished enthusiasm.  Strange.  I wonder if this will continue?

Well, I used to have this job, see, where I traveled more than six months out of the year.  I got very good at it, especially since I would be on the road for sometimes 2 weeks or more at a time, going from one extreme climate to another (e.g., Colorado Rockies in winter to Hawaii).  I know what to pack & how to go light.

But I’m getting ready for my son, mother & myself to take a 6-day trip to visit my Grandmother in Seattle-area, & it’s taken me forever to pack my stuff!!  I’m not used to packing supplements (pills) for 4 times a day, 4 different plant tinctures (liquid), plus whey protein, coconut oil, & such!  Once I got a weekly,  4x-a-day pill organizer, computed dosages & measured tinctures, & put everything into travel-sized containers, I was fine.  It’s all nice & organized, & totally manageable.  But next time I’ll know to allow for the extra time I’ll need to get everything ready!

One thing I’ll also take with me  is my knowledge of drop-in yoga classes.  I hope to hit one while I’m there to help me jump-start my at-home exercise/meditation practice.  (It’s only $15)  So even though I’ll be visiting family, I’m trying to build-in some ‘me’ time so I can be sure to relax.  I’ll also bring my exercise notes from Dr. Vanessa & make sure I get my daily exercise in whether I’m at the hotel, or someone’s house.  I hope it won’t rain the whole time (ha ha–this is the Pacific Northwest!) so I can get out & do some walking but I’m not going to bring my ‘walking sticks’ as they’re too much trouble to take on the airplane.  If it rains, I guess I’ll just have to figure out some other way of getting some cardio work–I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow!

Anyway, I’m still feeling good energy-wise but I’ve been having some nasty low-back pain this week. Dr. Buchel gave me a wonderful chiropractic adjustment on Monday, after Dr. Vanessa worked & worked on me.  I was so stiff she used heat, electro-stimulation, & lots of massage.  She said the joint capsule of my left hip was extremely tight & the ligament there was pulling my muscles tight & making them cramp.  So lots of stretching, working on the joint capsule, aligning my hips, ab exercises, & more to help loosen me up before my adjustment with Dr. B.

I hope I feel better tomorrow because I was still very stiff today, but in a good way, if that makes sense.  I’ll have to be ruthless about taking time for myself on this trip so I can maintain this new set of exercises because I’m sure I’ll tighten up like strings on a tennis racquet if I don’t really work on staying limber–especially with all the sitting I’ll be doing in the plane & car.

So this is one of my first trials–I’ll be going outside my normal routine so I can either continue the way I’ve been going at home, really mess up & eat lots of things that won’t be good for me or not exercise, or I can stretch myself a little bit & try to go beyond what I do at home since I’ll be in a new environment.  I know the path to true lifestyle change is little baby steps, so I hope I can toddle a step or two farther down the path that’s taking me to better health.  Wish me luck!

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past few weeks about how participating in the Half-Year Resolution has changed my life. (My cold is gone now & I’m feeling good.)  Over-all I have a much greater amount energy & stamina, & I don’t have that fuzzy-headed thinking very often now.  I’m still having back pain, but it’s no longer a constant, crippling pain that saps my energy & keeps me completely sedentary, unwilling to get up & walk more than absolutely needed.  And I’ve lost a total of 20 pounds now, so that helps my energy levels as well.  I’m able to do more aerobic exercise now–no feelings of imminent black-outs– & can use the bike or the walking poles for half an hour now.  (I still need to warm up carefully, & pace myself so I don’t exhaust myself in the first 10 minutes, but I’m definitely improving!)  But I think the most profound changes have been in my lifestyle–for the better.

For the first time in my life I really understand, on a gut level, how my choice of food, my stress-management, & my activity levels have a very real & profound effect on my health. I truly can’t remember ever feeling this good in my adult life, and I like it!!  This is the motivation that keeps me on track when I really don’t want to cook a healthy dinner or take time to exercise (or think to stop & drink a cup of tea outside while I watch the birds).  It’s still very much a process where I have my initial (not-healthy) reaction, then stop myself to re-evaluate, & then I’ll make the healthy choice.  I still slip-up, but I’m getting better & hopefully the healthy response will be automatic in another month or two.

The really big thing though, is I’ve found out so much more about what’s going on inside my body & why I’ve been having the problems with exhaustion, stress, having the pain & fatigue of fibromyalgia–the whole gamut of symptoms that were tormenting me & preventing me from living my life as I want to. Dr. Hedayat did the Biology of Function tests on me & the  results were (to me) stunning. As he told me the results of my lab tests, it all made such perfect sense!  I’ve struggled since I can remember with feelings of low energy, so I eat lots of sugar (whether candy or fruit juice) & caffeine.   Then I get really amped up & can get a lot done, but I have to keep the caffeine & sugar/simple carbs coming.  When I stop, I crash & it takes hours (or days)  for me to feel better.  What used to be just a regular part of life when I was in my teens & early 20′s had now become a downward spiral where I was having such intense  exhaustion, at times I would practically black out for hours & sleep.

Dr. Hedayat told me my tests showed my thyroid is under-performing (even though I test withing the range of what is normal for most people).  And because of the low thyroid output,  my adrenal glands work over-time to fill in the energy gap.  That’s why I can rev myself up so high–I’m running on pure adrenalin!  No wonder I crash so hard–when my adrenal glands are exhausted & stop making adrenalin, then I’ve exhausted my main (remaining) energy source & it takes my body increasingly longer times to recover.

Years & years & years of pain, insomnia, & physical & psychological stresses have kept my body running on adrenalin & other ‘fight or flight’ hormones (glucocorticoids like cortisol).  Glucocortoids are known to have a negative impact on a wide array of body systems including, among other things, the development & maintenance of neurons (brain cells), & can cause an overactive immune system  This can result in allergies & asthma (I have both) & in a decrease in the body’s ability to fight cancer (they supress important actions in cancer cells).

So it was not much of a surprise when Dr. Hedayat also told me I have an unusually high percentage of abnormal cells in my blood–levels that are considered pre-cancerous. Now, I had pre-cancerous lesions removed from my my cervix in my 20′s, & pre-cancerous lesions removed from my face in my 30′s, so I’m really not all that surprised to find I have these little buggers floating around in my blood cells now, in my early 50s.  (Seems to happen about every 20 years, hmmm . . . )  Fortunately I’m not yet in menopause as that’s a time of high risk for female cancers, but I will have to keep a close eye on this when I do go through that stage of my life.  This is a HUGE wake-up call!  If I wasn’t already motivated to make permanent lifestyle changes, you better believe I am now!

Fortunately, I believe I’m on the right track now. Dr. Hedayat & I will make sure I get regular blood-testing done, long after this Half-Year Resolution Challenge is over. He has put me on additional supplementation to address not only my thyroid & adrenal glands (to heal them &  augment their functioning) but he’s also addressing my immune system– I’ve already been able to reduce my asthma & allergy medication by about one-third over the last three months.   Also, I’m still on the modified-cleanse diet that’s been working so well for me. Targeting these areas will reduce many of the factors that are contributing to the generation of these abnormal cells.

But I also have to get totally serious about my stress-reduction.  Stress activates that fight-or-flight cycle & pumps out the glucocorticoids & I definitely don’t want more of that!!  So I’m learning techniques to calm myself & lower my heart-rate, even when I’m up doing housework or driving.  I’m still fighting to carve out time for yoga & exercise, but I’m winning more often now, especially now that I’ve given these a much-higher priority.  And I’m getting positively fierce about protecting my sleep time & having calm for an hour before bed.

So, I’m just going to have to do my best to balance all the various demands I have on my time & energy–just like I’ve written in the past.  I still struggle on a daily basis, but I think I’m getting better at it–I guess practice makes perfect (or at least a reasonable approximation of it!).  I DO want another 50 years here!! Does that make me selfish?  I don’t think so.  I just want time to enjoy my family, friends, & my life. Being in good health to enjoy these things means I hope to keep my body functioning well enough that it doesn’t break down & cause me to cut my life short, or drastically  impact my quality of life.  I want to grow old, get normal aches & pains, & experience the functional aging of my body in ways I can adapt to & live with, just like (I assume) everyone else does.  I pray that God grants me this grace.

Well, I guess the upshot of cheating (& eating foods that my body is sensitive to right now) is feeling like doggie doo.    :-P   I’ve got those black circles back under my eyes again, I’ve got a sore, scratchy throat, swollen glands under my throat, & I just want to sleep for a day or two.   I woke up like this on Monday & still haven’t been able to shake it.  I guess I need to spend a day just resting–after I go have my bowl of home-made chicken soup with cayenne pepper that’s waiting for me right now!  Yum!!

I’m gonna be such a good girl & stick to what I know is best for me right now!  So I guess I gotta make sure that my dinner’s ready & I’m not hungry when I make goodies for my son & have some kind of good-for-me-yet-delicious-snack available to nosh on after. <  Curse you banana bread!  Why do I have to make you so yummy!! >

OK, there.  I admit it!  I’ve been sooooo good & haven’t even been tempted all that much, but today was the true test & I failed.  < sigh >

This morning my son begged me,  ”Make me some of your delicious banana bread Mom!  Puh-leeeze!?”  So of course I did.  But I had a hard time not scarfing down spoonfuls of dough & licking every molecule off the spoon & bowl (as is my wont).  Oh, it smelled soooo good!  < eye-roll >  So I licked a teeny-tiny smidge off the end of the psoon & said, OK.  Now I’m done.

But it was not to be so.

I was cooking dinner, I was starving.  Definitely NOT a good state of being!  I had been smalling the fantastic aromas of roasting chicken & yummy banana bread for an hour & a half.  And while I waited for the rotisserie chicken to finish cooking, it was time for the bread to come out.  I realy tried but I just couldn’t help myself from picking at the fragrant loaf of warm spicy bread sitting right under my nose!  I must have eaten 6-8 mouthfuls all together . . .

Now I know having a few mouthfuls of banana bread isn’t the end of the word (& it’s certainly not going to make me fat–if that’s what concerns me) but it’s certainly not good for my health right now.   A major reason I’m feeling more energetic, & not having the bouts of extreme exhaustian to where I almost black out, is the diet I’ve been on (along with the detoxifying supplements).

I’ve been so careful to stay away from any refined sugars, all grains (except the occasional dab of brown rice), & stick to my regimen of 3 serving of healthy animal protein per day (one at each meal), LOTS of fresh veggies, & fruits in moderation & eaten with a few nuts.  This has helped me feel better & better!  So I hope falling onto the baker’s wagon won’t have any side effects tomorrow!