Well, I used to have this job, see, where I traveled more than six months out of the year.  I got very good at it, especially since I would be on the road for sometimes 2 weeks or more at a time, going from one extreme climate to another (e.g., Colorado Rockies in winter to Hawaii).  I know what to pack & how to go light.

But I’m getting ready for my son, mother & myself to take a 6-day trip to visit my Grandmother in Seattle-area, & it’s taken me forever to pack my stuff!!  I’m not used to packing supplements (pills) for 4 times a day, 4 different plant tinctures (liquid), plus whey protein, coconut oil, & such!  Once I got a weekly,  4x-a-day pill organizer, computed dosages & measured tinctures, & put everything into travel-sized containers, I was fine.  It’s all nice & organized, & totally manageable.  But next time I’ll know to allow for the extra time I’ll need to get everything ready!

One thing I’ll also take with me  is my knowledge of drop-in yoga classes.  I hope to hit one while I’m there to help me jump-start my at-home exercise/meditation practice.  (It’s only $15)  So even though I’ll be visiting family, I’m trying to build-in some ‘me’ time so I can be sure to relax.  I’ll also bring my exercise notes from Dr. Vanessa & make sure I get my daily exercise in whether I’m at the hotel, or someone’s house.  I hope it won’t rain the whole time (ha ha–this is the Pacific Northwest!) so I can get out & do some walking but I’m not going to bring my ‘walking sticks’ as they’re too much trouble to take on the airplane.  If it rains, I guess I’ll just have to figure out some other way of getting some cardio work–I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow!

Anyway, I’m still feeling good energy-wise but I’ve been having some nasty low-back pain this week. Dr. Buchel gave me a wonderful chiropractic adjustment on Monday, after Dr. Vanessa worked & worked on me.  I was so stiff she used heat, electro-stimulation, & lots of massage.  She said the joint capsule of my left hip was extremely tight & the ligament there was pulling my muscles tight & making them cramp.  So lots of stretching, working on the joint capsule, aligning my hips, ab exercises, & more to help loosen me up before my adjustment with Dr. B.

I hope I feel better tomorrow because I was still very stiff today, but in a good way, if that makes sense.  I’ll have to be ruthless about taking time for myself on this trip so I can maintain this new set of exercises because I’m sure I’ll tighten up like strings on a tennis racquet if I don’t really work on staying limber–especially with all the sitting I’ll be doing in the plane & car.

So this is one of my first trials–I’ll be going outside my normal routine so I can either continue the way I’ve been going at home, really mess up & eat lots of things that won’t be good for me or not exercise, or I can stretch myself a little bit & try to go beyond what I do at home since I’ll be in a new environment.  I know the path to true lifestyle change is little baby steps, so I hope I can toddle a step or two farther down the path that’s taking me to better health.  Wish me luck!

So, on with my quest to reduce my ever-present, high-stress levels!  After receiving my test results & diagnosis two weeks ago, I’ve been doing a lot of observation of my feelings of stress, & experimenting with ways to reduce them. I began from my continued assumption I’ve held for umpteen years: That I over-react to my environment compared to ‘average’ people & that I should learn to somehow calm my outlook, and my reactions to the normal, daily stress of life. I’ve been trying for years to find a way to do this & I’ve learned many positive, helpful calming & coping strategies.  But now, armed with the new knowledge of my thyroid & adrenal gland imbalances, I see a major part of my stress has physiological roots which then effect my feelings of stress & anxiety–not the other way around.

I’ve always been a high-energy person but as I’ve gone from my 20s to my 50s, I’ve realized my high-energy swings during each day are then followed by a period of low-energy recovery.  And the high-energy time has gradually become shorter & shorter while my recovery time has taken longer & longer, finally to where I’ve had virtually no base-line energy at all the last 12-14 years or so–& especially the last 5 years!  The only way I’ve been able to get anything done has been from adreneaine boosts that power me along in spite of my fatigue, & I finally wore those out over the last year or two. (I’m sure that stretch of time about 2 years ago where I couldn’t take the time to sleep one night a week–every week–for 11 months was literally my last straw.  I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 6 months later.)

This now makes perfect sense to me.  My thyroid has been underperforming so I’ve been exhausted. But I have things to do–that’s life!  So I amp myself up with fear of what will happen if I don’t complete a task, or I use lots of sugar & simple carbs + tons of caffeine.  (Triple-hammerheads anyone?  That’s coffee with 3 shots of espresso to you non-addicted folks.) What I’ve really been doing is setting in motion that feeling of panic!   Bring on that adrenaline!! I’ve become a stupendous procrastinator because I need the adreneline to help me clear my head & get my job done.  Panic–the fight or flight response–is very powerful!  It’s become my hated ally in my daily routine & I see that now because my body has become so worn out I need the feeling of panic just to get myself moving in the morning. I’ve developed an automatic stress/adreneline response to even everyday-life type stresses which is now, thankfully, becomeing out-dated.

Since my diagnosis & ensuing treatment regimin I’ve noticed such a tremendous difference in my energy level & my concentration that I no longer need to rely on kicking my adrenal glands into high gear. I’m guessing that my thyroid level has risen, along with being in better physical shape thanks to the chiropractic work, physical therapy, & acupuncture, & losing 20 pounds from the synergy of my treatment plans.   (Yay me!! Yay Renew!!)

But the most important realization I’ve made this week is the whole adrenaline-addiction thing. In the past, I’ve been either a bump on a log, or a crazy person, rushing around, busy, busy, busy, afraid to stop because I’m afraid if I sit down I won’t get up for a week.  So my biggest challenge now is to stop myself from the habit of busyness & to find a calm center from which to live & work.

I just read thought-provoking article in November’s Yoga Journal (“busyness plan“) where Sally Kempton explores the ideas of addiction to busyness & finding meditation in all work. At first I thought she referred to the ‘zen’-like feeling I’ve found when doing simple, repetitive actions where I can lose myself in the motions & feel centered & calm.  But on closer reading there was so much more.  I was really taken with her analogy of the two monks.  One was sweeping the temple steps & the other walked past & scolded him saying he was too busy & should be meditating, not sweeping.  But the sweeping monk replies, “You should know that there is one inside me who is not busy!” Keller goes on to explain:

“The “one who is not busy” is our own pure Being, the unchanging presence within us that effortlessly connects us with the heart of the universe and and imbues us with the simple feeling of basic all-rightness.  That monk was able to act in time and space from a state of stillness and timelessness, because even in action, he never lost contact with pure Being. Internal busyness comes from the feeling of not having enough time.  When you act with inner focus, it shifts you out of time bind by anchoring you in the place where time is always enough.“

” . . . as you go about your daily tasks, the [yogic meditation] lies in your intention to keep turning to the one who is not busy and to feel [his/her] steadiness, [his/her] detachment, and [his/her] freedom.  You won’t always see [the one who is not busy] immediately, but once you’re committed to looking though activity to stillness, [he/she] starts to find you. Tuning in to the one who is not busy makes your effort, well, effortless.  That’s when action truly becomes [yogic meditation] and you become like an eight-armed action deity, effortlessly multi-tasking with no sense of being busy at all.” [emphasis mine]

That’s what I’ve been trying to find!! I need to re-train my body to function from a place of centered calm, not from adrenaline panic. Since I read Kempton’s article I’ve tried to put this in practice each day–as often as I can remember to when I feel the rush of panic–& the frequency of these feelings makes me aware of just how hard I’ve pushed my body.  It’s like I’ve been at war & now I don’t know what to do now that a secure peace has been negotiated. “The one who is not busy” has definitely been in hiding for years & now I’ve got to find her & coax her out!  Each day when I find that calm place–even for a few minutes–I find Kempton is right.  I do feel calm & centered no matter what I’m doing or the maelstrom that’s whirling about my head and that centered place helps my body stay on a more even energy level, since I’m not burning up energy & depleting my adrenaline stores.

So now I’ll spend the rest of this Challenge & beyond learning a new way of living in my newly-balancing body.  As I continue to heal & gain sturdiness to my health I must retrain the neural pathways of my brain to leave behind the old coping mechanisms of panic & adrenaline & grow new pathways of calm energy that will benefit my physical health (& thus my mental health)  for the rest of my life.  This is getting a little easier because each time I can find “the one” inside me, I’m rewarded with a calmness & peace inside my healthier body that I’ve never known, & it leaves me wanting more.  So I’m motivated even more to seek the calm and avoid the panic.  I think that’s a pretty good trade for life–don’t you?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past few weeks about how participating in the Half-Year Resolution has changed my life. (My cold is gone now & I’m feeling good.)  Over-all I have a much greater amount energy & stamina, & I don’t have that fuzzy-headed thinking very often now.  I’m still having back pain, but it’s no longer a constant, crippling pain that saps my energy & keeps me completely sedentary, unwilling to get up & walk more than absolutely needed.  And I’ve lost a total of 20 pounds now, so that helps my energy levels as well.  I’m able to do more aerobic exercise now–no feelings of imminent black-outs– & can use the bike or the walking poles for half an hour now.  (I still need to warm up carefully, & pace myself so I don’t exhaust myself in the first 10 minutes, but I’m definitely improving!)  But I think the most profound changes have been in my lifestyle–for the better.

For the first time in my life I really understand, on a gut level, how my choice of food, my stress-management, & my activity levels have a very real & profound effect on my health. I truly can’t remember ever feeling this good in my adult life, and I like it!!  This is the motivation that keeps me on track when I really don’t want to cook a healthy dinner or take time to exercise (or think to stop & drink a cup of tea outside while I watch the birds).  It’s still very much a process where I have my initial (not-healthy) reaction, then stop myself to re-evaluate, & then I’ll make the healthy choice.  I still slip-up, but I’m getting better & hopefully the healthy response will be automatic in another month or two.

The really big thing though, is I’ve found out so much more about what’s going on inside my body & why I’ve been having the problems with exhaustion, stress, having the pain & fatigue of fibromyalgia–the whole gamut of symptoms that were tormenting me & preventing me from living my life as I want to. Dr. Hedayat did the Biology of Function tests on me & the  results were (to me) stunning. As he told me the results of my lab tests, it all made such perfect sense!  I’ve struggled since I can remember with feelings of low energy, so I eat lots of sugar (whether candy or fruit juice) & caffeine.   Then I get really amped up & can get a lot done, but I have to keep the caffeine & sugar/simple carbs coming.  When I stop, I crash & it takes hours (or days)  for me to feel better.  What used to be just a regular part of life when I was in my teens & early 20′s had now become a downward spiral where I was having such intense  exhaustion, at times I would practically black out for hours & sleep.

Dr. Hedayat told me my tests showed my thyroid is under-performing (even though I test withing the range of what is normal for most people).  And because of the low thyroid output,  my adrenal glands work over-time to fill in the energy gap.  That’s why I can rev myself up so high–I’m running on pure adrenalin!  No wonder I crash so hard–when my adrenal glands are exhausted & stop making adrenalin, then I’ve exhausted my main (remaining) energy source & it takes my body increasingly longer times to recover.

Years & years & years of pain, insomnia, & physical & psychological stresses have kept my body running on adrenalin & other ‘fight or flight’ hormones (glucocorticoids like cortisol).  Glucocortoids are known to have a negative impact on a wide array of body systems including, among other things, the development & maintenance of neurons (brain cells), & can cause an overactive immune system  This can result in allergies & asthma (I have both) & in a decrease in the body’s ability to fight cancer (they supress important actions in cancer cells).

So it was not much of a surprise when Dr. Hedayat also told me I have an unusually high percentage of abnormal cells in my blood–levels that are considered pre-cancerous. Now, I had pre-cancerous lesions removed from my my cervix in my 20′s, & pre-cancerous lesions removed from my face in my 30′s, so I’m really not all that surprised to find I have these little buggers floating around in my blood cells now, in my early 50s.  (Seems to happen about every 20 years, hmmm . . . )  Fortunately I’m not yet in menopause as that’s a time of high risk for female cancers, but I will have to keep a close eye on this when I do go through that stage of my life.  This is a HUGE wake-up call!  If I wasn’t already motivated to make permanent lifestyle changes, you better believe I am now!

Fortunately, I believe I’m on the right track now. Dr. Hedayat & I will make sure I get regular blood-testing done, long after this Half-Year Resolution Challenge is over. He has put me on additional supplementation to address not only my thyroid & adrenal glands (to heal them &  augment their functioning) but he’s also addressing my immune system– I’ve already been able to reduce my asthma & allergy medication by about one-third over the last three months.   Also, I’m still on the modified-cleanse diet that’s been working so well for me. Targeting these areas will reduce many of the factors that are contributing to the generation of these abnormal cells.

But I also have to get totally serious about my stress-reduction.  Stress activates that fight-or-flight cycle & pumps out the glucocorticoids & I definitely don’t want more of that!!  So I’m learning techniques to calm myself & lower my heart-rate, even when I’m up doing housework or driving.  I’m still fighting to carve out time for yoga & exercise, but I’m winning more often now, especially now that I’ve given these a much-higher priority.  And I’m getting positively fierce about protecting my sleep time & having calm for an hour before bed.

So, I’m just going to have to do my best to balance all the various demands I have on my time & energy–just like I’ve written in the past.  I still struggle on a daily basis, but I think I’m getting better at it–I guess practice makes perfect (or at least a reasonable approximation of it!).  I DO want another 50 years here!! Does that make me selfish?  I don’t think so.  I just want time to enjoy my family, friends, & my life. Being in good health to enjoy these things means I hope to keep my body functioning well enough that it doesn’t break down & cause me to cut my life short, or drastically  impact my quality of life.  I want to grow old, get normal aches & pains, & experience the functional aging of my body in ways I can adapt to & live with, just like (I assume) everyone else does.  I pray that God grants me this grace.

I’ve had energy all week!! AMAZING!! I feel pretty darn good & even have been waking in the morning feeling happy & reasonably well-rested!  (I’m still having some trouble falling asleep, but not more than a couple of hours.)  This is just fantastic!! I do still get tired if I try to do too much without taking a real break, but if I’m conscious of how my body is feeling & respect that I can have a 20 or 30 minute break, & then continue with my day with no huge drop in energy.

Part of this new feeling of health, I believe, is I’m being very conscious of eating my prescribed meals & healthy snacks on more of a schedule–I think I was right in that I really can’t wait to eat until I get hungry because my energy level falls too low & I never really regain it that day.  So the ‘scheduling’ thing seems to be working pretty well.  (And I’ve lost almost 10 pounds!)

Dr. Hedayat ordered the blood panels for my Endobiogenic testing & I have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks so it will be interesting to see what the results show.  I’m very aware that my newly-found feelings of mental clarity, less muscle & joint pain, & greater energy are just beginning, & so are still quite fragile.  I will  have to be quite vigilant of my daily structure & actions–to continue to protect myself from myself –& not delude myself that I’m instantly better & can now go back to my old, destructive habits.  I’m in this for the long haul!!  I want to treat the root causes of my health issues, not merely trim a few symptoms here & there, so I’m very interested in what the test results will show & what my next steps are.

But I think the greatest impact my higher, more consistent energy level is having is on my physical therapy/pain relief conditioning. Now (2-3 days per week) I’m able to ride the stationary bike for 45 minutes, throw in some intense interval training (e.g., 30 seconds as fast as I can possibly go, then 45 seconds slow for rest, 30 sec on/45 sec off for 3  or 4 sets) & still not be dizzy when I finish!! (But of course I’m sweating like crazy!)  I’m finding it easier to do the core-strength building exercises & have begun to do some gentle yoga moves along with my prescribed exercises.  And I’m using some of those specific exercises as pain-relievers when my back hurts so I’m still not popping pain pills!! Sure I still hurt–sometimes quite a lot– but I’m working hard to retrain myself to use the exercises as my first-line of defense.  And you know what?  They’re helping me to have less pain in the long run!  < DUH!! >  I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to find exercises that really work!  (Or to learn to use them as ‘medicine’ instead of just part of physical conditioning.)

My biggest challenge this week has been really painful sciatica.  Dr. Buchel has been giving me really great chiropractic adjustments & Dr. Vanessa (& Dr. Kevin) have been doing lots of mobilization & mucle therapies on my hips & low back–including my favorite, the cold laser!–so between the adjustments & the soft-tissue thaerapies I’ve felt tremendous relief!  (I’m actually sitting here typing & only have a minimal amount of pain instead of it being torture, or not doing computer work at all!)   Dr. Vanessa even had me out this week waling around the block with these crazy walking poles (they’re sort of like cross-country ski poles) that totally kicked my butt, or should I say abs & core body!!  Then I got to ‘play’ (read: sweat!) on the Wii Fit doing soccer, cross-country skiing, hula-hooping (go ahead & laugh–I dare you to do it too!), & yoga.  Normally I would have taken a week to recover but I actually felt more of a normal tiredness & just slept for about 12-1/2 hours that night & felt a good energy in the morning!

I really feel like the co-ordination of the different therapies, diet, & medicines are beginning to show their synergistic effect. And Jonathon has been giving me awesome acupuncture sessions that not only help my sciatica, but even more importantly, have the effect of bringing everything together. No, that’s not a very good description.  More like, confirming the placement of and & ‘comforting’ the newly re-aligned parts of my body–physically, functionally, & mentally.  I feel like the acupuncture helps in re-integrating the disparate parts of my being that have been long divorced,  & in the reconnection of  normal function & communication. Or I can just say it makes me feel terriffic & leave it at that.   ;-D

Well, I’m happy to report I’ve had more energy yesterday & today!  I’ve been religious about eating a healthy snack within the first ten minutes I wake up, & that has helped a lot. I must need instant refueling after no food all night because if I don’t snack ASAP I start getting fuzzy-headed & I never really get to full power all day.   Hmmm . . . I wonder what this means?  (Good thing I’ll speak with Dr. Hedayat on Friday.)

Also, I’m still having sciatica, but thankfully not as bad as last week (I could barely walk!).  Every time it begins to flare up I do some of the exercises & stretches that Dr. Vanessa & Dr. Kevin have given me.  I’m very determined to use OTC pain meds only when I must, so I’m referring to my exercise printouts constantly.  I’m finding which ones work best for different kinds of pain, so I should be able to just stop & do whatever I need pretty soon as I’ll have memorized them all!

I’ve read some articles about how certain types of yoga can be very beneficial for fibromyalgia patients so I may try going into some of the basic moves I’m familiar with very slowly to see how my body tolerates them. (But I guess I should probably check with Dr. Vanessa first.)   ;-D

Yesterday I was able to ride my stationary bike (with low resistance) for 30 minutes, so I feel very good about that.  I was pretty tired physically today but not so bad that it interfered with my day–now that’s progress!  Yay! I’ve had to set my timer, but I’ve been eating either a healthy meal or snack about every 2 hours–it’s the only thing that keeps my brain engaged & energy up.

Now to make more progress at night.  For some reason I’ve been having insomnia again. (Pain? Worry? So tired I can’t sleep?  All of the above?  Again, something to speak with Dr. Hedayat about.)   So now I’m off to take a relaxing shower while I sip my Sleepytime tea & do boring-type crosswords until I can’t keep my eyes open. Rah.  :-D

I’ve become very aware over the last few days that I’m in the habit of reaching for the Aleve & Advil wa-a-ay to quickly!  In the past, whenever I’d start to have severe pain I’d pop some of these OTC meds to help me function.  Trouble is, the pain would always come back when the pills wore off.   < Doh!! (head-slap) >  But I just figured I couldn’t do much about the pain right then so I’d continue to run in coping mode instead of health mode.  This has become an unconscious, knee-jerk response for me over the years & now I must work hard to break this pattern & re-train my brain!

So now I’ve been really careful with any medications while I’m doing this cleansing diet Dr. Hedayat has me on to rest several of my organs & body systems (liver, pancreas, gall bladder, endocrine system).  I figure any medications I use now are inhibiting my healing process, since over-use of medications is a major cause of many of my current health problems, Dr. Hedayat tells me.  So I’ve decided to be very aware of every pill I take & carefully weigh if I truly need it.  Instead of pills, I’ve been trying to put to use all the great things I’m learning at Renew.  EEK!  Must . . . learn . . . new . . . coping skills . . .

I will say that my experiment in pain management has been about 80% successful–80% realization of my habits & the remaining 20%  just plain old hard work on my part to break them.  The exercises I’ve been given have been my mainstay right now. Every time the pain begins to hit the point where before I wouldn’t have been able to relieve it except through pills, now I do some specialized crunches, stretch hamstrings, psoas, & hips, & do some upper-back & neck exercises.  Wow!  I won’t say the pain is gone, but it does ebb back below the critical level–Wahoo!!

It’s so exciting to find I can get actual, meaningful results when using new methods to reduce & manage my pain! I honestly felt I’d be able to reduce my pain somewhat, but the results I’m seeing now are, frankly, about where I thought I’d be in 3 or 4 months–not after 3 weeks on the whole program!!  I’m so astounded I can’t express the full depth of amazement that I feel.  My pain is there, sure.  But it’s less severe on an every day, ongoing basis, & I’m able to manage it more easily.

I guess it’s all starting to gel a little bit: I feel more energy on this cleansing diet & herbal supplements prescribed by Dr. Hedayat; After an acupuncture session with Jonathon I feel more calm, ‘whole’, & healed (for lack of a better description) & I know from past experience this will continue to build over time; The chiropractic adjustments from Dr. Buechel (& Dr. Hummel) are helping to straighten my rotated pelvis & all the other stuff that’s out of alignment in my spine & body; Dr. Vanessa, Adam, & Dr. Kevin are hitting me with awesome exercises, specialized massage to unlock spasmed muscles, lots of joint manipulation & stretching, taping me up like a mummy, & (the best part) teaching me ways of doing the same types of body work at home!!

I’m actually starting to believe that my goals I originally wrote out will all be achieved! I admit it. When I wrote about the restoration of health that I wanted in my life, that I honestly believed was possible for me, I wrote about my absolute, best-case, dream scenario.  (I’ve found throughout my life that if I set my goals high, but not so high as to be completely unrealistic, I can achieve results far beyond the expectations of my pragmatic side.)

But, now that I feel I’m making significant headway towards my goal of health, although I’m just starting on the path, I actually believe it in my very soul that I will achieve all my goals! I have the will, I’m acquiring the tools, and I have a fantastic team that I believe will give me healing.  This is the solid foundation for the permanent life changes I so devoutly want, & desperately need.  And each of these changes takes me closer to my new self, & my new life!!

I’ve had so many changes going on with my body over the past week it’s been hard to take time to post an update!!  (Or to sit for very long–my lower back has had me in knots at times.  Fortunately I feel much better now!)  So, where to begin?  I’ve had a very busy six days at Renew Integrative Health Center . . .

First, I had recommendations last week from Jonathon Dodds, L.Ac on eating lots of red foods to boost my intake of fresh antioxidants and other natural nutritional factors, along with changing my iron supplement.  I immediately did both that afternoon and this week I’ve already felt some difference in my energy level and was able to reduce both the allergy and antacid medications I’m taking. Yay!!  Thanks Jonathan!

I also had a meeting last Saturday with Tina Mears, MFT on the obstacles standing in my way of meeting my goals & how to overcome them.  She helped me strengthen my resolve to put time for myself at the top of my daily to-do list. As a wife, mother, educator, and back-up for my husband’s business I end up at the bottom of my list unless I hold my ground and insist on time to do my exercises & prepare healthy meals (sometimes two–one for me & one for them), as well as time for my various treatments at Renew.  I had already begun to carve time for myself but Tina really reinforced how necessary this is for my health–and the health of my family.

Then on Monday and Tuesday I attended two seminars at Renew: One given by Dr. Kamyar M. Hedayat, M.D. on the biological (endocrine) interactions between my mood, the foods I eat, and how these profoundly effect my overall health; The other, given by  Dr. Robert Buchel, D.C. was on the importance of ridding my body of accumulated toxins from my years of over-the-counter pain medications (which I take in high doses), various prescription drugs, and (like Dr. Hedayat’s lecture) the constant cravings for sugar and simple carbs (read: pastry, cakes, bread, chocolate).

These seminars really helped me understand the chains of  biological reactions that are happening within my body and gave me tremendous encouragement! Now I understand why I’ve been feeling such profound exhaustion, light-headedness, fuzzy thinking, and muscle/joint pain.  But even more importantly, this knowledge has expanded my understanding of the interactions between my liver, pancreas, gall bladder, digestive system, brain/mood, hormonal/chemical reactions that drive and serve these structures & their individual processes, & much more.   And this knowledge is extremely helpful in my understanding the approach of the doctors here at Renew.   (I guess I need to understand the scientific basis for everything–even treatments like acupuncture have scientific language that can be accurately applied.)

So, I began my physical therapy Wednesday with Dr. Vanessa Jackson, D.P.T and Adam in the PT suite & boy, did they get my body moving!  Not to say I was running & sweating–they were working hard to unlock my stiff muscles & joints, work on my posture, & go through a stretching & limbering routine for me to do daily at home.  I’m sure glad they have this awesome whirlpool table (trough-shaped table filled with a warm ‘waterbed’ that has whirlpool jets pulsing underneath)–aahh!  Pure heaven for the stiff body!  All this helped me tremendously.

Wednesday I also had my second chiropractic adjustment with Dr. Buchel and he really worked, adjusting my joints from the base of my skull all the way down to my feet!  My spine, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hands, pelvis, hips, knees, & ankles were checked & adjusted if needed.  Now I was walking much better, although my body wasn’t quite sure what to do!  I actually had to be conscious of my movements as my normal pattern of walking had changed & if I wasn’t careful I felt I might stagger sideways.  Fortunately, my body acclimated quickly & the awkwardness passed in a few minutes.

Finally on Wednesday, I had a full history & examination with Dr. Hedayat. When finished I was so gratified & relieved when he explained that many of the destructive cycles he had spoken of (in his seminar on Monday) were ongoing in my body & causing much of my ill-health.  After being told my HMO they couldn’t find what was wrong with me & I would ‘just have to live with it’, I was excited to have an actual diagnosis & to start a course of action to begin healing!  The most important thing Dr. Hedayat told me was I need to rest my liver, gall bladder, & pancreas right now.

So for the next month or so I will avoid all starchy carbs like pastry, bread, potatoes, rice, pasta, & sugar.  (Waa!  Bye-bye chocolate!)  Along with the dietary changes recommended by Jonathan & a few detoxifying supplements, I will eat animal protein with each meal, have lots of vegetables, & before I eat any fruit I will eat 3-4 almonds or walnuts to aid the digestive process.  I will also snack on whole eggs (I like hard-boiled) & of course, drink plenty of water.  I will miss my bread & rice especially but I can do this for a month, or even two if needed.  I understand why I need to do this so I’m not seriously tempted cheat. (But I’ll be glad when I can have some Arroz con Pollo or fresh, whole-grain bread again!)

Then on Thursday I was able to get up in the morning and actually stand up straight & walk without shuffling about!  I look in the mirrior–GASP! My shoulders are back, my pelvis tilted correctly–I look like I just lost 10 pounds overnight!  Thanks Dr. Vanessa, Adam, & Dr. B!!

I’m so grateful–and motivated!!  I’ve never before had all these issues brought together by one person, or group of people working together. Now, having concrete knowledge and a plan for action is the key to my new-found determination.  Before, I was always aware that each practitioner was separate and many times their individual recommendations were incompatible in varying degrees.  The lack of coordination between each modality left me with many doubts.  I would have difficulty trying to pick and choose what parts of which programs to do, and my guesswork was never very useful or satisfying.  Now I have a terrific group of people who are extremely well-trained, have a wealth of experience in their fields, and truly want me to succeed.  Their good humor & grace has already shone through & I know they will be of tremendous help when I hit those stumbling blocks, as surely I will.

Unfortunately, on Thursday I was exhausted all day after my action-packed Wednesday (including 1-1/2 hour traffic each way!).  Then, as I was feeling better, I  had some sort of stomach/digestive crisis that night.  Whether it was food poisoning, a 6 hour flu, or the grocery store rotisserie chicken was too greasy, I don’t know.  But I ended up on the floor for 3-4 hours with pains in my right side like I’ve never felt before.  After ridding myself of that which offended my body, the pain slowly subsided & I was finally able to go to bed about 3 am.

Friday I had to cancel teaching workshops after being up all night but I finally felt well enough to head down to Renew again where Jonathan gave me acupuncture which really helped soothe & calm the last feelings of pain & nausea.  Then Dr. Buchel gave me another comprehensive chiropractic adjustment after a soothing heat treatment.  Then, some gentle stretching on the traction table & I felt pretty good!  (I did cancel my Physical Therapy session though.)  But I headed over to The Broken Yolk & had a terrific 4-egg omelet with tons of veggies & herbal tea (no honey!).  I did look wistfully at the yummy blueberry muffin, but I was good & took it home for my son.  Then I came home & slept like the proverbial log all afternoon, night,  & late this morning (Saturday, I’m just up really late–yikes! It’s 12:59 am on Sunday morning!)

But I do feel much better today.  My muscles are a bit sore but nothing major.  My right side is still tender inside, but I’m fine with eating from my approved list.  I’m standing straighter & I did some stretches; tomorrow I’ll do my full PT routine of assigned stretches & limbering exercises.   Boy, it feels great to start feeling good again!!  Thanks everyone at Renew!

I just can’t wait for my first appointments today at Renew Integrative Health Center. Yesterday I felt like a bug on the windshield.

I just wanted to do a simple thing, take my 8yr old son Rory to the beach. People do this all the time, right? I used to take him any time, & pull a wagon full of kids, toys & a cooler too!  But late yesterday afternoon I packed as light as I could & off we went to the beach, knowing I wasn’t up to carrying such things right now.  So I took a small water bottle, two towels, & tied my spare car key into my shorts.  Rory carried his bag of snorkeling gear & off we went.

We had parked about 4 blocks from the water & much of the way we walked over tidal mud flats.  While he ran around as only 8 year olds can I limped along, struggling to maintain a steady pace behind.  Each step began to hurt from my heels to my shoulder blades, with the pain steadily increasing until it was all I could do not to cry out.  When we finally got to a good spot I was grateful to sink down on the sand to watch him play.  While he tried to entice me to come play in the waves I just sat on the beach & tried not to sob with pain & frustration.  Here I sat, a stong woman who went through 30 hours of natural childbirth, reduced to tears by a walk at the beach. I wanted to run & swim with Rory but he knew I wasn’t up to it so he played games & clowned about to try to make me laugh.  He’s such a good kid!  So I sat there & choked back tears & yelled encouragements to him until the sun went down.  Then we wrapped up in the towels & packed up for the (dreaded) walk back.

By now I was hurting so much I was literally in survival mode. As I limped more & more, putting on foot in front of the other, I couldn’t allow myself to think about how far away from the car we were.  Rory knew I was feeling bad & he was pretty quiet as we went along.  The pain increased past anything I’ve felt while walking before, & then added in burning fire shooting up both legs just for good measure.   I was so exhausted I was literally staggering.  I thanked God with all my heart when we finally made it to the car.

When we got home I took six Aleve, had a shot of vodka, took a hot shower, & my dear, sweet, loving hubby rubbed my whole back with Tiger’s Balm.  Then I simply lay down on the couch with my family & vowed: I will get better, no matter what it takes!!  This is not the life I want, or the life my family deserves!   I will change my life!!

Well, I made it through today–Yay!          Yesterday I was really dragging & had such a difficult time with fatigue & joint pain, & then a head cold on top of it all.  But today I was able to get up at 4:30, finish preparing to teach workshops at my home this morning, & then GO SWIMMING!!   Oh man, did that feel good!!

I was actually very tired after classes today but a nice lunch at the kitchen table with a dear friend really helped me recharge. I ended taking her son & mine to the pool so they could test my son’s ‘boat’ he & hubby built (out of an old (clean) cooler, 2×4 ‘outriggers’, & pool noodle /  juice jug pontoons–hee hee!).  While the two of them had a blast paddling about & cavorting like seals, I slowly warmed up my joints & stretched & stretched & stretched.  Then I was able to do do some swimming, play games diving for the boat plug (a large bolt), & swim a few laps doing the crawl.

I swam about simply enjoying myself when it suddenly hit me: I haven’t been in the pool for over a year! As I sat in the hot tub after my swim I asked myself, Why have I kept making excuses not to get in the water? (Excluding the times when the pool &/or weather’s just too darn cold, or I just feel too darn fat!)  My logical mind tells me to do just what I did today: Get in, warm up & move, but not so much as to make myself overly sore or stiff.  Or, just get in the hot tub, darnit, & loosen up my joints & muscles that way!  But I’ve been so physically & emotionally exhausted from the stresses of our start-up business, trying to keep grown-up worries from pressing down on our 8 year old son, & all the everyday financial & personal anxieties so many of us are facing right now that I kept saying to myself, Later.  I’ll do it tomorrow.  I know I have to get back into shape to reduce my back pain, but I just don’t have a enough energy right now to blow out a candle, let alone go for a swim.  Tomorrow.  I’ll do it tomorrow.

I feel bad because my poor hubby has been begging my to take walks with him & my son keeps saying he wants to  “Spend some fun time with you Mom, not just sit around the house with you, or when you’re teaching classes!”   They both want to get up & go with me but my feet, ankles, knees, hips & back all hurt so much I can only be on my feet for 15 or 20 minutes max before I have such severe pain I have to sit & rest/nap.  I think I need some kind of arch supports &/or walking shoes but I’ve put that off too.  Not only do I feel guilty spending money but I just don’t have the energy most days.   (Boy, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling exhausted & powerless.)

But, (I remind myself) swimming is an excellent start!!  It’s low-impact & aerobic so I’m resolved to feel good about what I accomplished today–not to dwell on how far I still need to go.  I don’t remember who said this but my hubby is always telling me, “The only way to eat an  elephant is one bite at a time!” Disgusting metaphor, I know, but still very wise.

So, I will pat myself on the back for not falling into my habit of sitting on the sidelines. I will replay many times in my mind how good I felt in the water, how relaxing just swimming some gentle strokes felt to my mind & body, & how totally peaceful and zen-like it felt to simply float in the hot tub.  I feel so happy & relaxed now–a feeling & haven’t felt in much, MUCH too long a time!   

LATE UPDATE!  I got my 1st email from Renew Integrative Health & they will be scheduling my 1st meeting with them for next week–I can’t wait to get their perspective on what’s up with me!

Now, hubby & DS (dear son) have gone for a long bike ride so I’m taking a nice shower & hitting the hay.   Ah, a quiet house–bliss!!

Hi, I’m Dawn! If you’ve checked out my Bio you know I’m a busy mom & wife who is struggling with stress, & pain from fibromyalgia & old back & knee injuries. I’m used to being physically active & having lots of energy so this is quite difficult for me. Between teaching science & math workshops, homeschooling our 8 year old son, helping my hubby with his start-up engineering business, & all the day-to-day, time-consuming tasks that go with runnning a household, I’ve got plenty to keep me running!  I really struggle to get through the day much of the time so I’m SO  ready to work hard & get my life back!!

Yesterday morning I had a great meeting with Trudi, Patti, & David at Ch 10, & even got to meet fellow contestant Connie!  (She’s such a crack-up!)   What a great bunch of people–I can tell that working with them over the next six months is going to make this experience a lot of fun (to go along with all the hard work).  My meeting today really brought it home to me all the support I have behind me–what a gift this Challenge is for me right now!  I still can’t believe I’m a part of this & I’m grateful for the chance not only to make these essential changes in my life, but to share my journey with others who may face similar challenges. I’ve been antsy to have my 1st meeting with my sponsor, Renew Integrative Health Center, & now  Ijust can’t wait to get going on my plan of action!

Yesterday was a full day for me (5 am to 10 pm) starting with my meeting in the morning & by the time I got home & everyone was in bed I was completely wiped out.   :-P     So, no blogging yesterday, even though mentally I was super-energized & ready to get started.  Then today I had another one of my ‘bad’ mornings & couldn’t wake up (I’m not sure, but I think this is part of the fibromyalgia) & I slept intil 12:15!  The cold I’ve been fighting decided to settle in too while I prepared to teach workshops tomorrow out of my home. (I’m teaching science over the summer & two friends are teaching music & Spanish, so I have a full house here for 3+ hours on Fridays).  I’m so disgusted with myself!  Can’t I even have a long day without it totally knocking me on my butt??   :-(

I’m happy though that I did manage to get some quick thoughts down today, & I’ve been even more careful than usual to eat a healthy diet now that I’m part of the Challenge, so I do feel I’m making positive steps even if I’m not working out.  I figure that right now the most important things I can do until I work with Renew on mapping out my health strategy is to rest, eat well, stretch out, & above all, keep my ‘eye on the prize’–the prize being my health!!