Dec
31

Six Months Into My New Life!

Well folks, it’s been an incredible, life-changing six months!  I just returned from Isis Physical Therapy at Renew and boy, I really had it brought home to me just how much my pain level, energy level, flexibility, and overall health have improved! Dr. Kevin gave me a great PT session this morning  & continued to loosen the muscles in my pelvis, hips, & glutes.  Then Adam totally kicked my be-hind one more time–for 1-1/2 hours!!!

What a difference from the first time I was there & I couldn’t gently pedal the stationary bike for one minute without stopping to put my head down to prevent myself from blacking out! I’m sure glad Dr. Hedayat was able to discover the root causes of  my ‘mystery fatigue’ & help me with this & my fibromyalgia.

I didn’t realize at first how much these health issues were preventing me from exercising–which is a crucial part of pain management for me (with fibromyalgia, three broken lumbar vertebrae, & scoliosis).  It also felt great to see my slimmer, more athletic shape in all those mirrors today!  Feeling great is the best reward but it’s nice to have the little ego-boos along the way too!

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Actually, I think my post from Thanksgiving says it all: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/for-this-i-am-truly-thankful/

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I had no idea when I began this journey how my life would be forever changed by this experience. As I’ve said before, I hope that you take away some tidbits that are helpful to you in your life–hopefully from all of us who were part of this Challenge.


I do hope you’ve found my journey especially inspirational, so I’ll leave you with some early posts when I was struggling with motivation & trying to establish new habits.

May you and your loved ones have a peaceful, prosperous, happy and healthy New Year!

~~Dawn

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My poor health had a major impact on my ability to interact with my family: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/reality-bites/

Beginning my coordinated health plan at Renew: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/yay-progress-d/

My 51st Birthday, and my test results which have profoundly effected my outlook: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/life-the-universe-everything-or-i-want-another-50-years-please/

Setting tough priorities for health & time management: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/workin-it/ http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/yikes-where-does-the-time-go/

Learning to adjust my thinking for healthy living & stress management: http://10newsblogs.com/halfyeardawn/2009/finding-the-one-who-is-not-busy/

Dec
25

Wii-Ha! What Sweaty Fun!

Well, now I truly have zero excuses for keeping fit–the extended families got together and gave our family a Wii with Wii Fit, Wii Sports, & Wii Sports Resort (plus all the paraphernalia)!!! Hubby & I have been trying to figure out how to get one since I’ve been using many of the exercises as one component of my physical therapy–plus hubby wants to play too–but we didn’t think we’d be able to afford one for at least another 3-6 months.  We’re so stoked!  I’ve already challenged our son to killer hula-hoops & told him I was going to spank his be-hind!  He’s predictable sceptical.  Ha Ha, just wait!  <* insert evil chuckle here *>  We’ve been playing Sports Resort all morning & will be taking everything down to my MIL’s (mother-in-law) this afternoon so I’ll certainly get in an awesome workout while we’re having fun with the extended family.

I also want to report that yesterday we were meeting family for brunch in Encinitas & we arrived way earlier than everyone else so we took a walk around the neighborhood & along the bluffs by the beach.  I felt so good!! I was easily walking up steep hills & running & playing with our son–what a fantastic change from 6 months ago, and a tremendous relief to my family. We had a wonderful morning & I was more than ready to sit down to a delicious 6-veggie omelet with feta cheese, fruit, & decaf.  Afterward I was primed & ready to get all those pesky last-minute Christmas details finished, plus have an informal BBQ with my mom & one of our friends last night.  Boy it feels good to be back in the land of the living!

Finally, I had a very informative physical therapy session with Dr. Kevin on Wednesday which really helped my with understanding & preventing my low back pain.  Since I have 3 broken vertebrae in my lower back, I have too much mobility in that area which causes me a lot of pain at times. We realized that when the muscles spasm in my hips, glutes, & interior muscles inside the back and sides of my pelvis (where many of the back muscles attach to the bone) my lower back must be extra-mobile to compensate-OUCH!! This is something I never realized before.  I’ve been working on strengthening & loosening these muscles but they always seem to seize up every day or so.  Well, Adam showed me some killer (literally!) pelvic/hip mobility exercises & just that 30 minute workout made me feel better than I had in a couple of weeks! Yesterday morning I was a little stiff but I did the mobility moves again & felt 90% better!  This morning I’m still a bit stiff but again, do the moves & life is good once more.  So now I’ve definitely added another fantastic tool to my ‘health toolbox’ to whip out whenever I feel tight in the hips & lower back–if I catch it sooner rather than later I can prevent a world of hurt!

Well, I’m off now to get ready to go down to the familial gathering so I’m wishing all of you a happy, healthy holiday season, whether you celebrate Christmas or other special holiday.  My hope is that you’ve gotten some inspiration &/or information from my blog that has been helpful for you, & your health journey!  (And the new year is coming soon . . . what will your resolution be?)

Dec
20

Busy Times, But My Body Won’t Wait!

I can’t believe Christmas is just a few days away ’cause we’re definitely not ready at our house!  Last week we were still resting as much as we could after the flu & now I’ve been so busy finishing up school stuff, heading down to Renew, & trying to get ready to decorate that I’ve been seriously short-changing my exercise for 2 weeks now & not taking the time for the aerobic work and the strength/mobility work.  What a big mistake!!

I’m not having too much pain, & my sciatica is better, but Friday I really noticed it took much longer for me to warm up my back & I didn’t have quite as much physical stamina as I had 2 or 3 weeks ago–Yikes! Yes, I could still ride the stationary bike for 5 minutes at level 4 (while over 80 rpms the whole time) & I did all my exercises, but I just felt I didn’t have a lot of gas in my tank, so to speak.  I had also had several mornings where my back was stiff & I needed to move around for 10-15 minutes before I felt comfortable. I’ve been walking with my Exerstrider poles several times a week so now I’ve added stretching & strength-training at the top of my to-do list yesterday & today–I need all the energy & stamina I can get!!

Fortunately it all seems to be coming back pretty quickly but I have to make sure to really watch myself & not let myself get complacent again. In the past I’ve been able to gain & maintain strength & endurance fairly quickly so I must be very conscious of the fact my body is working much differently now. I’ve been so happy with my improved physical health that I was shocked to realize I began to slide backward after about 10 days of slacking–definitely not my usual 4-6 weeks of grace!

So I’ll add this to my long list of lessons learned: I honestly cannot skip more than 1, or 2 days at the very most–especially during times of maximum stress & business–without having real physical consequences. I’ve come so far now in regaining my health that I’m definitely not going back, not even a little!  I really like feeling like my old self again & exercise is a vital part of my total health prescription so I’ll just have to keep myself on the same positive track regarding exercise as I’m trying to do with my food choices, sleep schedule, & stress reduction (yoga, recreation, & meditation).  In fact I’d been having a little trouble sleeping again & now that I’ve stepped up the exercise once more I’m sleeping very easily once again!

I guess I’m still taking Juggling Lessons and I need to practice every single day!!

I also need to report that I’m seeing more relatives & other folks who haven’t seen me for a few months & I’m still getting 100% rave reviews! Everyone is seeing such a change in my shape, skin, energy, & ‘sparkle’ (as it’s been put several times–whatever that means) that I have been feeling pretty darn good!  (The new haircut definitely helps too!)  Thanks again for all the support!  ;-D

(And please be sure to vote if you haven’t already!)

Dec
06

Back in the Saddle, Again!

Whew!  It feels so good to have everyone, including me, well again. (Curse you darn flu!)  The house is almost back in shape, we’ve tidied up the yards in preparation for the rains, and I went for a two-hour hike with my family today!!! It’s been so long since I’ve been able to do that and it felt really good. (Hubby’s birthday is tomorrow so we wanted to make sure we had family time today since he’ll be working 10+ hours tomorrow, as usual.)  Our son found two long poles he was using to vault himself forward, so when we came across a vacant field that had been plowed sometime ago, I used his poles like my Exerstrider walking poles to utilize my body’s core muscles more efficiently across the terrain.  That worked fabulously! Usually going over deep, uneaven ground really exhausts me–and kills my back–but this time I had no problem!  And I even felt better afterward–I had more energy, less low-back pain, & just felt generally refreshed!  Whooda thunk?!

Now we’ve got a fire burning and we’re having hot cocoa & tea while working on making some of our Christmas presents.  (I can’t say what ’cause those folks read my blog too!)  ;-D  It sure feels good to be able to go for a long hike then come home and just feel the good sort of tired!  I remember when I first started this six-month journey how I couldn’t do more than slowly ride the stationary bike or struggle up the stairs before I’d almost black out, and now look at me!  I know I’ll sleep well tonight but it feels great to feel like myself again!!

Nov
26

For All This I Am Truly Thankful!

As I get up this Thanksgiving morning I do as I’ve done every morning since I began ABC10′s Half-Year Resolution Challenge:  I stop to say a prayer of thanks for being part of this fantastic, life-changing event. Clichéd?  Yes, but I honestly mean it from the bottom of my heart.

This opportunity has meant everything to me, and to my family! Being chosen, and partnered with Renew Integrative Health Center, was exactly what I needed, and what I had been praying for. Renew’s  fabulous team of doctors and health practitioners  have given me the tools to:

Overcome my fibromyalgia. Dietary changes coupled with chiropractic, acupuncture, and the correct supplements and exercises, including yoga, have virtually eliminated my symptoms.  It certainly didn’t happen overnight, and I still have mild twinges in my elbows and wrists at times, but for all intents and purposes I consider myself cured.  Super-Yay for me!!

Regain a significant portion of my stamina and strength, and I’m still building! I’m not almost blacking out anymore when trying to exercise and I’m getting stronger and can do more each week.  Last week I went to Julian (in the mountains) and was able to easily walk up and down small hills with no problems!  And the elevation is 4000 feet!! My body is stronger and I carry myself with correct posture again because I have the energy to do so, and my spine is aligned properly.  My pain is 80% less!

Have energy again, with a clear and calm mind. After undergoing the Biology of Function, including in-depth blood tests, exam, & history, the dietary changes and correct supplements prescribed by Dr. Hedayat combined with the pain relief from Dr. Buchel‘s chiropractic adjustments and Dr. Jackson & Dr. Pansky’s physical therapy  have virtually eliminated my symptoms! Discovering my issues with thyroid and adrenal function, my over-worked liver from too many prescription and over-the-counter drugs, and my unhealthy coping mechanisms (sugar + caffeine) have been crucial.  Changing this dynamic has been the key! (In fact, my 8 year-old son just woke up and came in to see what I’m doing.  When he saw my blog he said, “I”m thankful for you getting better!  You’re a much better mommy now because you have more energy to play with me and do all sorts of things!”)  Not much I can add to that except that I’m doing it all caffeine-free and with healthy sweeteners!  Whooda thunk?   ;-D

Discover and address my current risk for cancer. Pre-cancerous levels of abnormal cells were also found as part of my blood tests for the Biology of Function. (I wrote about this and my previous removals of pre-cancerous lesions in my October post, Test Results, or I Want Another 50 Years.) The diet and supplements prescribed by Dr. Hedayat address this issue as well. Hopefully I’ll be here for many years to come to see my family grow and change.  (Maybe I’ll even see grandchildren!)

Have the bonus benefits of dropping excess weight and improving my skin and hair. I’ve dropped 24 pounds, most of it before I was able to exercise very much, and I get daily complements on how healthy my skin looks–no more black circles under my eyes either!  My hair continues to grow back and a significant portion of it is coming back brown, not grey as it did at first.  (Weird, but true!)  Less weight has also helped increase my energy level–I’m not toting it around all day (and my joints thank me too).

Help my family and friends make their own healthy changes. My husband and several of my friends have seen the progress I’ve made and have been inspired to improve their health, beginning with healthier diet and exercise.  My husband is now willing to change his eating habits in ways he wasn’t before (poor cholesterol tests continue to haunt him) so I feel our son will also benefit from a healthier dad!  Yay!  My goal for this next year is to improve my family’s dietary patterns and for us to spend more time outdoors together like we love, but have been unable to do with mom in such poor health.

So, for all these reasons I’m thankful to be chosen as part of ABC10′s Half-Year Resolution Challenge and for my Challenge partners, my team at Renew Integrative Health Center.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime gift I’ve received and I decided on Day One I wasn’t going to waste this God-given opportunity.  I feel I’ve pretty much achieved all my goals (except for the swimming the mile part-brrrrr!!) and  I’m well on my way to going on all-day hikes in the mountains.  I’ll have some maintenance and fine-tuning visits with my team at Renew to continue to stabilize my health and I will continue to cement my permanent life-style changes at home.

I’ve gained all I dreamed I possibly could and for all these things my family and I are truly grateful.  Thank you all for giving me my life back!

Nov
21

Well, I Finally Over-Did It . . .

I’m feeling so much better now (just a little back pain) that I finally pushed past my limit, even though I’ve been so careful to take my exercise & physical therapy in easy steps.   I’ve been through this countless times before & really didn’t want to do this again.

We went with some of the families from our  homeschool charter, Greater San Diego Academy, to a robotics lab workshop at Legoland & then had the afternoon to play in the park.  I love rollercoasters & all sorts of crazy rides so I took every opportunity to play with the kids & ride, ride, ride!  Fridays are pretty quiet there now that school’s back in session so many times we could get right back on the ride with little or no wait.  So I ended up going on about 6 or 8 coaster rides (Dragon & Technic), then went on the Knight’s Tournament, which is one of my favorites.  It’s a giant robot-arm, the kind they use in large manufacturing facilities to weld, move car frames, & do all sorts of intricate work.  Here, they’ve programmed 5 different levels of twists, turns, & excitement so you can choose your own level of thrill.  I took the kids on lots of Level 1 & Level two rides before I took one last ride just for myself–on Level 5!  Boy did I have fun!  The kids were laughing at me flying around, spinning while whirling upside-down, with my arms up in the air & my long hair flying out above me like a flag!  I was laughing & whooping it up the whole time.

But when I was walking away after my wild ride, uh-oh!  I knew right then I’d made a big mistake.  It hadn’t even crossed my mind that I’d hurt myself because I’ve been ignoring the warning signs on these kind of rides all my life–I never even thought twice about it.  But I’ve been feeling so much better, & my back is getting in so much better shape,  that now I actually notice when I’m pretty racked up–it’s not merely an increase in my already high pain level.

I have a chiropractic appointment with Dr. Buchel on Monday, along with Dr. Kevin in Physical Therapy, but I’m going to stretch, work out gently, have my mom give me some massage (she’s a Licensed Massage Therapist), and try to mitigate the damage until then.   ;-D

At least I had fun while messing myself up, but now I know I’ll have to take these warnings more seriously, at least until my spine has been stable & healthy for a good while–probably a year or so.  So I’ll chalk this one up to experience & now I’m off to go sit in my mother-in-law’s jacuzzi!

Nov
09

Closer . . . Closer . . . I Think I May Have Found IT!

Well!   Things have certainly been hopping around our house! Traveling, family sickness (except me–Yay!), teaching, chiropractic & physical therapy at Renew, & exercise & meditation at home.  Whew!  But I think I may have found another of my magic keys that will unlock the next gate on my path to wellness.

I’m finding that 2-3 days a week of ‘stickwalking’ with my Exerstrider walking poles plus 2-3 days of interval training on my stationary bike has put my endurance level back up into my low-normal range of fitness!!  Yay!!  No more almost-blacking-out when doing aerobic exercise for me! And last week Dr. Kevin really worked to release more tight muscles in my lower back & hips, then Adam really kicked my behind with lots of lateral core work to really engage my obliques.  Coupled with an awsome adjustment from Dr. Buchel I was feeling better than I have in a long time.  My muscles were stiff the next few days, but not overly painful.  This really enforced my feeling of correct posture & core engagement from my lower abs–all good stuff.

I think I’ve really found a combination of exercises, chiropractic, & meditation/relaxation at home that’s beginning to show results!!  Today I got another adjustment & another kick-buns workout, plus I took an easy stick walk to help settle in my new muscular alignment after my body work.  Now I’ll see how this works out for me over the next week–I really feel I’m on th something!

Oct
30

Traveling Triumph!!

Well, I had a great visit with my Grandma in Seattle area & now I’m home again–just recovering from lack of sleep & helping my mom & son schlep their bags through the airports!

I was able to do so much I couldn’t do even 2 or 3 months ago!!  I visited my Grandma every day & was able to have her use me for stability when she took walks, andgetting in & out of the car (she’s 93).  My son & I visited my uncle & his family on their small ‘farm’ & we helped them preserve apples, worked on the new chicken run they’re building off their coop (we collected eggs too!), planted LOTS of garlic & shallots, & stripped the last of the leaves & twigs off the grapevines to prepare them for pruning.  I was so excited that I was able to do all these things with very manageable pain!!

Really, it’s the sciatica that’s causing me the most trouble right now so I just kept stretching, massaging, doing my exercises & hip-balancing routines given to me by Dr. Vanessa–they really help keep the pain down.  Plus, uncle has a Wii Fit so I was able to do the hula-hoop exercises & other core-strengtheners that help me so much.  (Sure wish I had one of those at home . . . )   I think this is my main area of challenge now–to stabilize my lower back & the sacro-illiac joints of my pelvis.  I know when I’m taped up with the kinesio-tape I’m very stable, but I can’t go around with tape on all the time!  (Even if I wanted to, it irritates the skin if used too much.)  So I really must continue to focus on my strengthening, stretching, & using the massage ball & roller to re-train my muscles & ligaments into healthier configurations.

I’ve almost caught up on my sleep now, & will definitely hit the major workouts again starting tomorrow!  (Now, it’s time to toddle off to bed . . . )

Oct
20

An Old Travel Dog Learns New Tricks

Well, I used to have this job, see, where I traveled more than six months out of the year.  I got very good at it, especially since I would be on the road for sometimes 2 weeks or more at a time, going from one extreme climate to another (e.g., Colorado Rockies in winter to Hawaii).  I know what to pack & how to go light.

But I’m getting ready for my son, mother & myself to take a 6-day trip to visit my Grandmother in Seattle-area, & it’s taken me forever to pack my stuff!!  I’m not used to packing supplements (pills) for 4 times a day, 4 different plant tinctures (liquid), plus whey protein, coconut oil, & such!  Once I got a weekly,  4x-a-day pill organizer, computed dosages & measured tinctures, & put everything into travel-sized containers, I was fine.  It’s all nice & organized, & totally manageable.  But next time I’ll know to allow for the extra time I’ll need to get everything ready!

One thing I’ll also take with me  is my knowledge of drop-in yoga classes.  I hope to hit one while I’m there to help me jump-start my at-home exercise/meditation practice.  (It’s only $15)  So even though I’ll be visiting family, I’m trying to build-in some ‘me’ time so I can be sure to relax.  I’ll also bring my exercise notes from Dr. Vanessa & make sure I get my daily exercise in whether I’m at the hotel, or someone’s house.  I hope it won’t rain the whole time (ha ha–this is the Pacific Northwest!) so I can get out & do some walking but I’m not going to bring my ‘walking sticks’ as they’re too much trouble to take on the airplane.  If it rains, I guess I’ll just have to figure out some other way of getting some cardio work–I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow!

Anyway, I’m still feeling good energy-wise but I’ve been having some nasty low-back pain this week. Dr. Buchel gave me a wonderful chiropractic adjustment on Monday, after Dr. Vanessa worked & worked on me.  I was so stiff she used heat, electro-stimulation, & lots of massage.  She said the joint capsule of my left hip was extremely tight & the ligament there was pulling my muscles tight & making them cramp.  So lots of stretching, working on the joint capsule, aligning my hips, ab exercises, & more to help loosen me up before my adjustment with Dr. B.

I hope I feel better tomorrow because I was still very stiff today, but in a good way, if that makes sense.  I’ll have to be ruthless about taking time for myself on this trip so I can maintain this new set of exercises because I’m sure I’ll tighten up like strings on a tennis racquet if I don’t really work on staying limber–especially with all the sitting I’ll be doing in the plane & car.

So this is one of my first trials–I’ll be going outside my normal routine so I can either continue the way I’ve been going at home, really mess up & eat lots of things that won’t be good for me or not exercise, or I can stretch myself a little bit & try to go beyond what I do at home since I’ll be in a new environment.  I know the path to true lifestyle change is little baby steps, so I hope I can toddle a step or two farther down the path that’s taking me to better health.  Wish me luck!

Oct
18

Finding “The One Who Is Not Busy”

So, on with my quest to reduce my ever-present, high-stress levels!  After receiving my test results & diagnosis two weeks ago, I’ve been doing a lot of observation of my feelings of stress, & experimenting with ways to reduce them. I began from my continued assumption I’ve held for umpteen years: That I over-react to my environment compared to ‘average’ people & that I should learn to somehow calm my outlook, and my reactions to the normal, daily stress of life. I’ve been trying for years to find a way to do this & I’ve learned many positive, helpful calming & coping strategies.  But now, armed with the new knowledge of my thyroid & adrenal gland imbalances, I see a major part of my stress has physiological roots which then effect my feelings of stress & anxiety–not the other way around.

I’ve always been a high-energy person but as I’ve gone from my 20s to my 50s, I’ve realized my high-energy swings during each day are then followed by a period of low-energy recovery.  And the high-energy time has gradually become shorter & shorter while my recovery time has taken longer & longer, finally to where I’ve had virtually no base-line energy at all the last 12-14 years or so–& especially the last 5 years!  The only way I’ve been able to get anything done has been from adreneaine boosts that power me along in spite of my fatigue, & I finally wore those out over the last year or two. (I’m sure that stretch of time about 2 years ago where I couldn’t take the time to sleep one night a week–every week–for 11 months was literally my last straw.  I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 6 months later.)

This now makes perfect sense to me.  My thyroid has been underperforming so I’ve been exhausted. But I have things to do–that’s life!  So I amp myself up with fear of what will happen if I don’t complete a task, or I use lots of sugar & simple carbs + tons of caffeine.  (Triple-hammerheads anyone?  That’s coffee with 3 shots of espresso to you non-addicted folks.) What I’ve really been doing is setting in motion that feeling of panic!   Bring on that adrenaline!! I’ve become a stupendous procrastinator because I need the adreneline to help me clear my head & get my job done.  Panic–the fight or flight response–is very powerful!  It’s become my hated ally in my daily routine & I see that now because my body has become so worn out I need the feeling of panic just to get myself moving in the morning. I’ve developed an automatic stress/adreneline response to even everyday-life type stresses which is now, thankfully, becomeing out-dated.

Since my diagnosis & ensuing treatment regimin I’ve noticed such a tremendous difference in my energy level & my concentration that I no longer need to rely on kicking my adrenal glands into high gear. I’m guessing that my thyroid level has risen, along with being in better physical shape thanks to the chiropractic work, physical therapy, & acupuncture, & losing 20 pounds from the synergy of my treatment plans.   (Yay me!! Yay Renew!!)

But the most important realization I’ve made this week is the whole adrenaline-addiction thing. In the past, I’ve been either a bump on a log, or a crazy person, rushing around, busy, busy, busy, afraid to stop because I’m afraid if I sit down I won’t get up for a week.  So my biggest challenge now is to stop myself from the habit of busyness & to find a calm center from which to live & work.

I just read thought-provoking article in November’s Yoga Journal (“busyness plan“) where Sally Kempton explores the ideas of addiction to busyness & finding meditation in all work. At first I thought she referred to the ‘zen’-like feeling I’ve found when doing simple, repetitive actions where I can lose myself in the motions & feel centered & calm.  But on closer reading there was so much more.  I was really taken with her analogy of the two monks.  One was sweeping the temple steps & the other walked past & scolded him saying he was too busy & should be meditating, not sweeping.  But the sweeping monk replies, “You should know that there is one inside me who is not busy!” Keller goes on to explain:

“The “one who is not busy” is our own pure Being, the unchanging presence within us that effortlessly connects us with the heart of the universe and and imbues us with the simple feeling of basic all-rightness.  That monk was able to act in time and space from a state of stillness and timelessness, because even in action, he never lost contact with pure Being. Internal busyness comes from the feeling of not having enough time.  When you act with inner focus, it shifts you out of time bind by anchoring you in the place where time is always enough.

” . . . as you go about your daily tasks, the [yogic meditation] lies in your intention to keep turning to the one who is not busy and to feel [his/her] steadiness, [his/her] detachment, and [his/her] freedom.  You won’t always see [the one who is not busy] immediately, but once you’re committed to looking though activity to stillness, [he/she] starts to find you. Tuning in to the one who is not busy makes your effort, well, effortless.  That’s when action truly becomes [yogic meditation] and you become like an eight-armed action deity, effortlessly multi-tasking with no sense of being busy at all.[emphasis mine]

That’s what I’ve been trying to find!! I need to re-train my body to function from a place of centered calm, not from adrenaline panic. Since I read Kempton’s article I’ve tried to put this in practice each day–as often as I can remember to when I feel the rush of panic–& the frequency of these feelings makes me aware of just how hard I’ve pushed my body.  It’s like I’ve been at war & now I don’t know what to do now that a secure peace has been negotiated. “The one who is not busy” has definitely been in hiding for years & now I’ve got to find her & coax her out!  Each day when I find that calm place–even for a few minutes–I find Kempton is right.  I do feel calm & centered no matter what I’m doing or the maelstrom that’s whirling about my head and that centered place helps my body stay on a more even energy level, since I’m not burning up energy & depleting my adrenaline stores.

So now I’ll spend the rest of this Challenge & beyond learning a new way of living in my newly-balancing body.  As I continue to heal & gain sturdiness to my health I must retrain the neural pathways of my brain to leave behind the old coping mechanisms of panic & adrenaline & grow new pathways of calm energy that will benefit my physical health (& thus my mental health)  for the rest of my life.  This is getting a little easier because each time I can find “the one” inside me, I’m rewarded with a calmness & peace inside my healthier body that I’ve never known, & it leaves me wanting more.  So I’m motivated even more to seek the calm and avoid the panic.  I think that’s a pretty good trade for life–don’t you?


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