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UGH! 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back . . .
I was so excited to be making progress on Friday (previous post) & then (duh-duh-DUH) I really overworked Saturday, Sunday, & Tuesday—what a mistake! My hubby, mom, MIL (mother-in-law) & Uncle-in-Law all came up & we worked to finish off the upstairs ‘renovaton,’ cleanup, & do major reorganization of the 4 upstairs bedrooms. (Talk about an exhausting game of musical furniture! Whew! ) It does feel good to finish this seemingly never-ending project but man, I’m still whipped! Even though I tried so hard to pace myself I had folks calling me all day long from all over the house for help, direction, decisions, blah, blah, blah.
Bottom line: Now I’ve gone back to the extreme exhaustion, dizziness spells, & muscle fatigue. I’ve barely had enough energy to follow my food plan (it would be soooo much easier to make an organic PB&J instead of cooking &/or slicing & dicing) but I’m being good, even though it’s very tempting to go back to my old stop-gaps. And I know that I have to fight myself to take it easy when I’m recovering! How could I have thought I was being careful? What was I thinking?? (My pattern has been: I begin to feel good then–bam! I don’t have the patience to wait for the real recovery to be complete so I plunge forward, then end up back at square one, or worse.) This time though, I simply felt guilty that everyone else was working so hard & I thought I looked like a slug whenever I put my feet up for a five or ten minutes. I really try hard not to let what others think of me drive my behavior, but after a while the big sighs & eye-rolling made it hard to be firm with myself & rest.
Anyway, I am feeling better after lots of rest yesterday & today & I’m looking forward to my appointments tomorrow at Renew Health. I’m seeing everyone tomorrow, except Tina Mears, so it’ll be a long morning but I know I’ll feel better when I’m done–I always do!
I did feel much better on Monday after Dr. Vanessa worked me over (she even used this new cold laser I’d never seen before to help breakup old adhesions in my muscles & reduce pain). I did have to really take it easy during my workout though as I felt, literally, like I was an empty shell. (I did finally get to meet Crystal though! I knew she’s at Renew also but we’d never connected until then. She’s so nice & she’s really working hard–just watching her workout kicked my be-hind!) ;-D
After my body work with Dr. Vanessa & workout with Adam in PT, Dr. Buchel gave another awsome chiropractic adjustment, then I was back to see Dr. Vanessa to get more kiniseo-tape to help put me back together. I did feel much better after I left on Monday, & I did rest when I got home, but I didn’t rest enough & then it was back to work on Tuesday to finish the house. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Hmmm, let’s see, what have I learned? Anything??? (Darn, I sure hope so!)
First: Don’t let others’ expectations, or my presumption of their expectations, goad me into behaviors that I know are unhealthy for me at the time. I am strong enough in my resolve to guard my health & if some folks don’t understand my situation then I’ll just have to live with their diminished opinion of me.
Second: I have to watch myself more closely than I thought as I continue to recover my health. I’ve been advised in the past to look at what I think I should be able to do at each stage of physical recovery (after knee surgery, etc) & cut that expectation in half. Then, cut it in half again. I guess I’ll have to go back to this mindset when I’m tempted to ‘break out’ on the days when I’m feeling really good. Even though boring, I know that slow & steady is my best plan for now. Rats! ;-D
Dawn wants to lose 20 pounds and
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