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Reality Bites!
I just can’t wait for my first appointments today at Renew Integrative Health Center. Yesterday I felt like a bug on the windshield.
I just wanted to do a simple thing, take my 8yr old son Rory to the beach. People do this all the time, right? I used to take him any time, & pull a wagon full of kids, toys & a cooler too! But late yesterday afternoon I packed as light as I could & off we went to the beach, knowing I wasn’t up to carrying such things right now. So I took a small water bottle, two towels, & tied my spare car key into my shorts. Rory carried his bag of snorkeling gear & off we went.
We had parked about 4 blocks from the water & much of the way we walked over tidal mud flats. While he ran around as only 8 year olds can I limped along, struggling to maintain a steady pace behind. Each step began to hurt from my heels to my shoulder blades, with the pain steadily increasing until it was all I could do not to cry out. When we finally got to a good spot I was grateful to sink down on the sand to watch him play. While he tried to entice me to come play in the waves I just sat on the beach & tried not to sob with pain & frustration. Here I sat, a stong woman who went through 30 hours of natural childbirth, reduced to tears by a walk at the beach. I wanted to run & swim with Rory but he knew I wasn’t up to it so he played games & clowned about to try to make me laugh. He’s such a good kid! So I sat there & choked back tears & yelled encouragements to him until the sun went down. Then we wrapped up in the towels & packed up for the (dreaded) walk back.
By now I was hurting so much I was literally in survival mode. As I limped more & more, putting on foot in front of the other, I couldn’t allow myself to think about how far away from the car we were. Rory knew I was feeling bad & he was pretty quiet as we went along. The pain increased past anything I’ve felt while walking before, & then added in burning fire shooting up both legs just for good measure. I was so exhausted I was literally staggering. I thanked God with all my heart when we finally made it to the car.
When we got home I took six Aleve, had a shot of vodka, took a hot shower, & my dear, sweet, loving hubby rubbed my whole back with Tiger’s Balm. Then I simply lay down on the couch with my family & vowed: I will get better, no matter what it takes!! This is not the life I want, or the life my family deserves! I will change my life!!
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