Yes!!  I’m so happy!

Friday at Renew I had my Physical Therapy & chiropractic, then Jonathon gave me an awesome acupuncture session, after I told of my sciatica & on-going insomnia.  (Not only have I been having trouble falling asleep but when I finally do, I sleep very lightly, not deep enough for REM sleep where we do our dreaming.)   Well, not only did I fall sound asleep on the acupuncture table & start dreaming right then, I had the most wonderful night’s sleep that night!    I just got into bed & fell asleep right away, & I dreamt all night, non-stop. It was like an 12 hour movie marathon in there!  (I’m making up for lost time?)  I felt sooo good when I woke up, very happy & rested.

In fact it felt so comfy & good I decided to take a short nap Saturday afternoon just so I could have more, blissful sleep &  then fell right to sleep again Saturday night!  Oh, I thank you for that Jonathon!

Dr. Kevin sure worked me over in PT on Friday though.  My sciatica is slowly getting better but the muscles across my hips, rump, & outer thighs are still very tight (even causing some bones to be pulled out of alignment, especially my SI joint).   So I had another ‘tenderizing’ session–ooch!  But afterwords I really felt better, even though I was pretty stiff until I stretched & worked out Saturday.  I’m sure glad he’s working the cramps & muscle adhesions out as the sciatica is very painful & really limits what I can do.  (I’m limited to about 10 minutes of sitting or standing, & can lie down only on one side.)  So I can actually say I’m so happy that Dr. Kevin really kicked my butt!

In fact I felt soooo much better between Dr. Buchel’s chiro adjustment, the acupuncture, PT, & a good night’s sleep that I was able to do more on the bike Saturday (40 minutes!!) & do almost all of my exercises!  Boy, it’s amazing what you can do when you’re without much pain, & with a good night’s sleep!

Today I was only a little tired, but the heat sure took everything I had.  Our son had his Cub Scout ‘Box-Car’ Derby & picnic today & even under the shade pavilions it was HOT!!  So I’ve rested most of the afternoon & I’m trying to convince myself that I can get up & do some stretches & light exercise.  I think I’ll go make a power smoothie & do my exercises half an hour after I finish it–that usually helps!

I don’t know what’s been up with me the last 3 or 4 days but all of a sudden I’m craving sugar & caffeine.  It’s very strange.  I’ve been on the modified low-carb/no sugar diet (see post, ‘New Habits”) for almost 4 weeks now & I haven’t really had much cravings, & when I did they were very mild.  But now?! Yikes!!

I totally want a really good cup of espresso & some kind of rich dessert–New York-style cheesecake, any kind of french pastry, my grandpa’s homemade cinnamon rolls with walnuts & raisens!  Or a nice strong cup of Earl Grey or Irish Breakfast tea, sweetened with a bit of honey & a plate of scrumptious, British scones. < *Sigh* >

I know the foods I eat have a direct effect on my mood & my body’s health, so I’m definitely not indulging.  But man, it’s soooo hard to follow my head & not my tastebuds!!!

Instead, my son & I split an apple’s worth of slices dipped in  organic, roasted peanut butter,  & I had a strong cup of Kava tea.  (I’m hoping the tea will help with my insomnia, which returned at the same time the cravings started.  Hmmmm . .) Definitely not as drool-worthy as all of the above, but passable.  So, now I’m off to hit the showers, & (hopefully) have a good snooze tonight.

Well, I’m happy to report I’ve had more energy yesterday & today!  I’ve been religious about eating a healthy snack within the first ten minutes I wake up, & that has helped a lot. I must need instant refueling after no food all night because if I don’t snack ASAP I start getting fuzzy-headed & I never really get to full power all day.   Hmmm . . . I wonder what this means?  (Good thing I’ll speak with Dr. Hedayat on Friday.)

Also, I’m still having sciatica, but thankfully not as bad as last week (I could barely walk!).  Every time it begins to flare up I do some of the exercises & stretches that Dr. Vanessa & Dr. Kevin have given me.  I’m very determined to use OTC pain meds only when I must, so I’m referring to my exercise printouts constantly.  I’m finding which ones work best for different kinds of pain, so I should be able to just stop & do whatever I need pretty soon as I’ll have memorized them all!

I’ve read some articles about how certain types of yoga can be very beneficial for fibromyalgia patients so I may try going into some of the basic moves I’m familiar with very slowly to see how my body tolerates them. (But I guess I should probably check with Dr. Vanessa first.)   ;-D

Yesterday I was able to ride my stationary bike (with low resistance) for 30 minutes, so I feel very good about that.  I was pretty tired physically today but not so bad that it interfered with my day–now that’s progress!  Yay! I’ve had to set my timer, but I’ve been eating either a healthy meal or snack about every 2 hours–it’s the only thing that keeps my brain engaged & energy up.

Now to make more progress at night.  For some reason I’ve been having insomnia again. (Pain? Worry? So tired I can’t sleep?  All of the above?  Again, something to speak with Dr. Hedayat about.)   So now I’m off to take a relaxing shower while I sip my Sleepytime tea & do boring-type crosswords until I can’t keep my eyes open. Rah.  :-D

Finally!!  I’m getting my energy back!  I woke up this morning & actually popped out of bed within 1/2-hour, not the 3+ hours of grogginess I’ve been going through before I can drag myself out.

But really, I’ve felt like this week would never end. I can’t believe it’s taken me TWO weeks to recover from that intense cleaning/house arranging marathon!  I hate being this fragile.  But I guess it really shows how run-down I was because even though I’m feeling better than before I began my health journey, I must be mindful that I still have a long way to go to be ’sturdy’ again.   (Must . . .  pace . . . self . .  . . . . . . . have . . . patience . . . . . . Gah!)

This last week I had extreme sciatica to boot so walking has been full of surprises–I’ll be fine one moment, then I’ll stand for 5 minutes & can barely hobble across the kitchen.  Dr. Vanessa is on vacation so Dr. Kevin & Adam really helped put me back together.  Lots of stretching, plus Adam really worked over all my seized up muscles.  I felt so much better!  (And when I got home I was even better after a hot shower & Tiger’s Balm!)  I guess some of my sleepiness has been due to the pain–it totally wipes me out.

But  today I’m feeling pretty darn good, which is very encouraging.  (Yes!  I need encouraging right now!)  I’ve been very careful to stop, have a healthy snack, & rest whenever I start feeling tired so I’ve been able to go pretty much all day.  Not a lot of heavy work mind you, but the everyday chores I’ve had a hard time tackling.  So, yay me!!

My hubby, MIL (Mother-in-law), & son are coming home tonight from their week-long vacation, so I guess my vacation ends tonight too.    ;-D    Guess I’d better pull my garlic-roasted chicken off the rotisserie, grab my mega-salad & curl up with the DVR before they get home!

Yikes!  All I have to report is: sleeping! Since my last post I’ve managed to sleep through most of each day, especially since I’ve sent my hubby & son on a week-long vacation in the Eastern Sierras.   AAAH, the bliss of a quiet house!  I can sleep as much as I need!  (I guess I must need quite a lot right now as I’m still recovering from all the major stress & over-work last week.)

Today I actually got up before 10:00 (not after 1pm!) & was ready to tackle some over-due paperwork so I worked at the computer this morning & only took a 2 hour nap (not 4+!).  Now it’s time to hit the sack as I do have a long day tomorrow.  Good thing I’ve almost recharged my batteries, I’m going to need it!

Later, . . .  my pillow . . . is  . . . calling . . . < * snore * >

I was so excited to be making progress on Friday (previous post) & then (duh-duh-DUH) I really overworked Saturday, Sunday, & Tuesday—what a mistake! My hubby,  mom,  MIL (mother-in-law) & Uncle-in-Law all came up & we worked to finish off the upstairs ‘renovaton,’ cleanup, & do major reorganization of the 4 upstairs bedrooms.  (Talk about an exhausting game of musical furniture!   Whew! )  It does feel good to finish this seemingly never-ending project but man, I’m still whipped!  Even though I tried so hard to pace myself I had folks calling me all day long from all over the house for help, direction, decisions, blah, blah, blah.

Bottom line:  Now I’ve gone back to the extreme exhaustion, dizziness spells, & muscle fatigue.  I’ve barely had enough energy to follow my food plan (it would be soooo much easier to make an organic PB&J instead of cooking &/or slicing & dicing) but I’m being good, even though it’s very tempting to go back to my old stop-gaps.    And I know that I have to fight myself to take it easy when I’m  recovering! How could I have thought I was being careful?  What was I thinking?? (My pattern has been:  I begin to feel good then–bam!  I don’t have the patience to wait for the real recovery to be complete so I plunge forward, then end up back at square one, or worse.)   This time though, I simply felt guilty that everyone else was working so hard & I thought I looked like a slug whenever I put my feet up for a five or ten minutes.  I really try hard not to let what others think of me drive my behavior, but after a while the big sighs & eye-rolling made it hard to be firm with myself & rest.

Anyway, I am feeling better after lots of rest yesterday & today & I’m looking forward to my appointments tomorrow at Renew Health.  I’m seeing everyone tomorrow, except Tina Mears, so it’ll be a long morning but I know I’ll feel better when I’m done–I always do!

I did feel much better on Monday after Dr. Vanessa worked me over (she even used this new cold laser I’d never seen before to help breakup old adhesions in my muscles & reduce pain).  I did have to really take it easy during my workout though as I felt, literally, like I was an empty shell.  (I did finally get to meet Crystal though!  I knew she’s at Renew also but we’d never connected until then.  She’s so nice & she’s really working hard–just watching her workout kicked my be-hind!)  ;-D

After my body work with Dr. Vanessa & workout with Adam in PT, Dr. Buchel gave another awsome chiropractic adjustment, then I was back to see Dr. Vanessa to get more kiniseo-tape to help put me back together.  I did feel much better after I left on Monday, & I did rest when I got home, but I didn’t rest enough & then it was back to work on Tuesday to finish the house.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Hmmm, let’s see, what have I learned?  Anything???  (Darn, I sure hope so!)

First:  Don’t let others’ expectations, or my presumption of their expectations, goad me into behaviors that I know are unhealthy for me at the time.  I am strong enough in my resolve to guard my health & if some folks don’t understand my situation then I’ll just have to live with their diminished opinion of me.

Second:  I have to watch myself more closely than I thought as I continue to recover my health. I’ve been advised in the past to look at what I think I should be able to do at each stage of physical recovery (after knee surgery, etc) & cut that expectation in half.  Then, cut it in half again.  I guess I’ll have to go back to this mindset when I’m tempted to ‘break out’ on the days when I’m feeling really good.  Even though boring, I know that slow & steady is my best plan for now.  Rats!  ;-D

A short post tonight (amazing, I know!).    I’m pooped, but it’s still good.   Usually on Fridays I’ve been so exhausted after teaching Science class in the morning (at my house) that when the students finally go home about 12:45 all I can think about is lunch & a very long nap.  And then I’ll take a 2-4 hour nap!  (After 12-14 hours of sleep!)

Last Friday was better & I only napped about 1-1/2 hours, but today I’m excited that I only took a catnap while watching my son & his friends–for about 45 minutes! I could hear them playing Zoo Tycoon: The Complete Collection on the computer & it was fun listening to my little 8yr old zookeeper explain how important it is to keep the animals happy & how you go about that monumental task.   I really enjoyed putting my feet up in the recliner & not having to move for a while, as well as feeling well enough that I didn’t immediately pass out & miss the fun.

I was doubly surprised since I took the kids to the pool after classes this morning & we played there for about 2 hours, then came home.  So even though I’m thoroughly whipped, I don’t feel that fatigue that would just suck me down until I’d literally fall on the couch or bed & sleep for hours.

My life is coming back to me now, slowly but surely.  (Yes!  I said surely!!  I need all the pep talks I can get–even from myself!)   ;-D

Rats!  Just when I think I’m finally getting in the groove, I totally flub up.    /:-P

I worked on science & reading with my son (no rest for the homeschooled–am I the meanest mom in the world, or what?), worked in the garden, cleaned, cooked, paid bills, changed from sitting work to walking around work when I began to get stiff, took my son to the library to do his reporting for the Summer Reading Program, & worked on my upcoming Math & Science curriculums.  I ate regular meals, each including animal protein, had my nuts before eating fruit snacks,  made cherry stem tea (yuck, but another part of my body’s cleansing program), & took all my vitamins/supplements at the appropriate times.  I feel good about what I have accomplished today, I really do.   So I should feel good about my juggling skills, right??   Oh yay, yay me, oh yeah, yay me, oh . . . uh . . . oh man!!!

What about my exercises?!! Gah!!  Will I ever get it all together?   OK, I’ll admit (partial) defeat for today (it’s almost 11:30 pm) so I guess it’s time to whip out Scarlett O’Hara:  ”Oh fiddle-dee-dee.  I’ll worry about that tomorrow.”

I’ve become very aware over the last few days that I’m in the habit of reaching for the Aleve & Advil wa-a-ay to quickly!  In the past, whenever I’d start to have severe pain I’d pop some of these OTC meds to help me function.  Trouble is, the pain would always come back when the pills wore off.   < Doh!! (head-slap) >  But I just figured I couldn’t do much about the pain right then so I’d continue to run in coping mode instead of health mode.  This has become an unconscious, knee-jerk response for me over the years & now I must work hard to break this pattern & re-train my brain!

So now I’ve been really careful with any medications while I’m doing this cleansing diet Dr. Hedayat has me on to rest several of my organs & body systems (liver, pancreas, gall bladder, endocrine system).  I figure any medications I use now are inhibiting my healing process, since over-use of medications is a major cause of many of my current health problems, Dr. Hedayat tells me.  So I’ve decided to be very aware of every pill I take & carefully weigh if I truly need it.  Instead of pills, I’ve been trying to put to use all the great things I’m learning at Renew.  EEK!  Must . . . learn . . . new . . . coping skills . . .

I will say that my experiment in pain management has been about 80% successful–80% realization of my habits & the remaining 20%  just plain old hard work on my part to break them.  The exercises I’ve been given have been my mainstay right now. Every time the pain begins to hit the point where before I wouldn’t have been able to relieve it except through pills, now I do some specialized crunches, stretch hamstrings, psoas, & hips, & do some upper-back & neck exercises.  Wow!  I won’t say the pain is gone, but it does ebb back below the critical level–Wahoo!!

It’s so exciting to find I can get actual, meaningful results when using new methods to reduce & manage my pain! I honestly felt I’d be able to reduce my pain somewhat, but the results I’m seeing now are, frankly, about where I thought I’d be in 3 or 4 months–not after 3 weeks on the whole program!!  I’m so astounded I can’t express the full depth of amazement that I feel.  My pain is there, sure.  But it’s less severe on an every day, ongoing basis, & I’m able to manage it more easily.

I guess it’s all starting to gel a little bit: I feel more energy on this cleansing diet & herbal supplements prescribed by Dr. Hedayat; After an acupuncture session with Jonathon I feel more calm, ‘whole’, & healed (for lack of a better description) & I know from past experience this will continue to build over time; The chiropractic adjustments from Dr. Buechel (& Dr. Hummel) are helping to straighten my rotated pelvis & all the other stuff that’s out of alignment in my spine & body; Dr. Vanessa, Adam, & Dr. Kevin are hitting me with awesome exercises, specialized massage to unlock spasmed muscles, lots of joint manipulation & stretching, taping me up like a mummy, & (the best part) teaching me ways of doing the same types of body work at home!!

I’m actually starting to believe that my goals I originally wrote out will all be achieved! I admit it. When I wrote about the restoration of health that I wanted in my life, that I honestly believed was possible for me, I wrote about my absolute, best-case, dream scenario.  (I’ve found throughout my life that if I set my goals high, but not so high as to be completely unrealistic, I can achieve results far beyond the expectations of my pragmatic side.)

But, now that I feel I’m making significant headway towards my goal of health, although I’m just starting on the path, I actually believe it in my very soul that I will achieve all my goals! I have the will, I’m acquiring the tools, and I have a fantastic team that I believe will give me healing.  This is the solid foundation for the permanent life changes I so devoutly want, & desperately need.  And each of these changes takes me closer to my new self, & my new life!!

I had a great morning at Renew on Thursday! Physical therapy really kicked my butt (ba-a-a-d butt, ba-a-a-d!)   I’m still having a problem doing aerobic exercise, where my breathing & heart rate are elevated, as I get dizzy & feel as though I’m about to pass out before I’ve even gone a minute or two.  So Adam has been putting me through my paces doing balance & strength-training exercises.  He kept me going until he had the ultimate proof of my wimpiness & I actually tipped over onto my butt–thanks Adam.!  ;-P   (Not really; we were done & I tipped over while trying to get up for my session with Dr. Vanessa.  It just sounds better that Adam’s such a slave driver.)  ;-D

Then I had more acupuncture with Jonathon while I took a nap.  (I always seem to take a nap while I’m having a session–it’s very relaxing!)  And Jonathon also made an interesting comment after I updated him on my ongoing dizziness: He wanted to know if I was exercising inside the house, outside, or both.  When I admitted I’m only working out at home he encouraged me to do some outside, as long as I take it easy & watch for dizziness.  Hmmmm . . .

After a chiropractic adjustment with Dr. Hummel, who’s subbing while Dr. Buchel takes a few days off, I felt really good!  I felt very balanced & to my amazement I found myself trotting up & down the short flight of stairs down to PT so Dr. Vanessa could work her ‘magic’ again with the Kinesio-Tape (sp?).  (See previous  ’Mummy’ post.)

She got me all taped up & once again my spine was so darn straight I was amazed.  I felt so good that on the way home I stopped by Buddy Todd Park & took a walk around the park’s walking path.  I only walked about 10 minutes but I can truly say I haven’t felt that good while walking for years!!  Usually my sciatica hurts & makes it extremely painful to hold my pelvis & lower back in a balanced position, which causes more back & knee pain.  But I just kept walking along at a nice pace & felt great!  Yay!!  Progress!

Then after I returned home I took my son & a friend to the pool (small, homeowner’s association pool but hey, it’s wet!).  After stretching & playing with them for a while finding diving rings & such, I decided to try Jonathon’s advice & did some gentle mini-lap swimming.  (I did say the pool is small, right?)  But I swam 10 or 12 laps, resting when I felt any dizziness coming on until I had caught my breath, then continuing.  It felt great to do a variety of strokes so after I did some crawl, underwater across the pool, modified frog, kickboard, etc, my muscles & body felt great.  I think the swimming feels good because I don’t have so much weight, & what weight I have is distributed differently so my joints rest,’ if that makes sense.

The only problem I had was my K-tape started to come off! EEK!  Dr. Vanessa said it should last 3-5 days & it was OK to swim & shower as long as I don’t rub it when drying off.  The only thing I can think of is the first time she applied it, she reinforced it with some spray adhesive.  But when I came back in Thursday it was solidly in place so I guess she thought it wasn’t necessary.  I guess I’ll have to make sure she uses some heavy-duty super-glue–I’m going to be doing lots of swimming until it cools down this Fall!

Fridays I don’t have much time to blog (teaching workshops, then napping) or on the weekend (napping, doing chores, napping) but I felt more rested.  And, instead of sleeping 12 to 14 hours a night & taking 2-4 hour naps, I’ve been sleeping between 9-11 hours at night with only an hour or so for a nap!!  Again, more progress!!  Huzzah!!

Now it’s time for shower & beddie-bye ’cause I’ve got to be up early tomorrow (Monday) for my 9:00 with Dr. Vanessa, & so Adam can once again kick my butt!